Harry Potter and the Seduction Mission
by Josephine Stone
Summary: Malfoy asks Harry to help him avoid a completing a mission Voldemort assigned him; a mission to seduce Harry. After agreeing then oblivating Malfoy as requested, Harry changes his mind and "lets" Malfoy seduce him to keep him safe from Voldemort.
1. Draco's Mission

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I don't make any money from this.

Warning: Harry/Draco, male/male relationship and a slightly non-consensual sex scene in chapter two.

Thanks to my beta : LaughableBlackStorm

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"Hey! Potter! Hold on for a second," Malfoy yelled as he walked briskly in an attempt to catch up to him. Harry rolled his eyes and didn't stop walking, though he did subconsciously slow his pace. "We need to talk," Malfoy said once he had cut Harry off and was standing in front of him.

"About what?" Their sixth year had barely started and their last encounter on the train had not been a pleasant one. Not that Harry wouldn't love to return the favor and break Malfoy's nose, but he wasn't feeling up to getting into trouble again this early in the school year.

"About the fact that you think about me when you wank," Malfoy accused, but not in his usual mocking tone. Information like that was normally something he would use to torment Harry. There was no way that he could actually know that, but it had never stopped Malfoy from teasing Harry in public with lies he had made up, before.

That was why Harry was stunned into silence with the whole situation. Malfoy was not making fun of him, but merely stating a fact. They were alone and, of course, there was the small little detail that it was true and not something Malfoy had just made up.

"Over the summer, the Dark Lord gave me a mission to complete this year." Ha, Harry knew it, Malfoy was up to something and Harry wasn't just paranoid. "He wants me to seduce you…"

"Oh." He was still a bit too stunned to comprehend everything that Malfoy had just said. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, I don't want you to let me," Malfoy said, as if he was explaining it to a small child.

"Then, why do it?" Harry asked in the same condescending tone.

"Because, he'll kill me!" Voldemort never really cared too much about how other people felt as long as he got what he had wanted out of them. He was not the type to think of what it meant to ask Malfoy to let Harry molest him or worse, if Malfoy was expected to do everything Harry had ever envisioned doing with him.

"Won't he kill you for warning me?" Harry countered, sensing that if Voldemort found out about this, then Malfoy would be much worse off than just not doing the assigned task. Malfoy was helping Harry whether or not Malfoy looked at it that way. If Harry knew Voldemort's plan, then he could find a way to use it against him.

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." He paused and it was obvious that he was having a difficult time asking Harry for his help. "I want you to _Obliviate_ me," Malfoy said slowly, forcing each word out. Harry tried to hold back a slight smile. Malfoy wanted to conspire with Harry against Voldemort and trusted Harry to not only _Obliviate_ him, but also not to use the spell against him. "Anytime I try to talk to you, just fight with me, then when the Dark Lord searches my mind, he won't see this. All he'll see is you pushing me away each time I attempted my task."

"You're putting a lot of trust in me, Malfoy."

Malfoy scowled in response, which only helped Harry's mood and ruined his attempt to be nonchalant about what he was hearing.

"Better you than him. Besides, what's the worst you'd do?" Malfoy asked with a smirk and turned back into the prat Harry was used to. "You're too much of a bleeding heart to doing anything that you know would cause me harm."

Harry really couldn't deny that he couldn't let anyone come to harm, even Malfoy Malfoy, who had made his life hell for five years. Harry wouldn't be able to live with the guilt.

"…Besides, you have some sort of 'thing' for me." Malfoy scrunched his face while saying the word 'thing' and then looked Harry up and down. It made Harry's stomach jump, which was a strange feeling for him to associate with Malfoy. He never had before, but Malfoy had never known about his fantasies before either. He'd always been the one person Harry could look at whilst picturing naked and be sure that he had no idea what Harry was thinking. "Well, are you going to do it?"

"Yes, of course," Harry said, then got out his wand. He was glad that Malfoy was going to forget the conversation and was more than ready to end it. "Obliviate," he muttered quickly, then turned and walked in the direction he had been heading in before Malfoy's appearance. About two seconds later, he heard Malfoy's voice again.

"Hey! Potter! Hold on for a second," Malfoy yelled as he walked briskly, trying to catch up to him.

Harry sped up his pace this time, but still refused to run. Malfoy finally broke into a slight jog and grabbed his arm, spinning him around.

"Just a minute, it's important."

Harry, afraid that his natural response would trigger a repeat of their previous conversation, searched for something to end their conversation and help him escape, before Malfoy had a chance to say anything.

"Nothing that you have to say is important to me!" It came out harsher than he had meant it, but he was sure that it would work. In case it wouldn't deter him, Harry took the moment that Malfoy began to sputter to turn back around and continue on his way.

"That's right, I'll never be good enough for you. Right?" Malfoy yelled at Harry's back, and in spite of himself Harry turned to respond.

He knew where Malfoy was going with the conversation and there was no point in fighting it out with him again, but he still could not just walk away from a statement like that. Malfoy was always the one who said he was better than everyone else, not Harry. "What are you talking about?"

Malfoy sneered and put his face two inches from Harry's, and stared directly into his eyes. Still Harry did not pull back.

"You know what I'm talking about." Harry for a minute thought that he had messed up the spell, but Malfoy continued, "I'm not important enough for you? You're going to regret this someday, Potter." Malfoy had said it with the same venom he had used on the train. "I can hold a grudge like you would never believe, and someday you will see that I'm very important."

He turned back around and headed for the castle, leaving Harry silently behind him. "This might have been the most important conversation of your life," Harry heard yelled back at him when Malfoy was a few feet away. That last part sounded as if it had come out a little bit more pained than the rest. It worked. Harry had hurt Malfoy's feelings and he chose to ignore it, but he could not get the pained sound in Malfoy's voice to leave him alone.

It was there after only a moment of being left in the silence; Harry felt guilty, even though he was technically helping Malfoy by pushing him away. He followed Malfoy back into the building against his better judgment. How had he gotten himself into this mess? It was Voldemort again. At the beginning of his fifth year, when Dumbledore had voiced his concern about the link between Harry and Voldemort, Harry had become slightly paranoid himself. He didn't particularly want to lose the link because he had gotten useful information on Voldemort's attacks from it. He had to admit that Dumbledore was right, and sooner or later Voldemort would figure out the link and have a door inside Harry's thoughts.

Voldemort would find the people that Harry cared about the most and kill them. Harry had become afraid to touch himself anymore, not wanting to share any thoughts with him, and then after fighting with Malfoy one day he'd been pissed off and just needed release. He had gone to take a hot shower and had thought about Malfoy swallowing all his dirty words, along with Harry's cock. Afterwards, he'd felt disgusted with himself, but then realized what a brilliant idea it was. Malfoy was on Voldemort's side, so he wouldn't kill him. He would probably brag about it, if he did anything at all.

From that moment on Harry had only thought about Malfoy when he wanked. It felt safe and it wasn't like Malfoy was unattractive. On days that Malfoy was particularly annoying, he would be rough with him, but as time wore on he thought of doing the same things with Malfoy as he had when he used to envision girls. It had never occurred to him that it was odd to think about making love with his enemy, whilst his enemy was begging for more and whispering, 'I love you.' It had just felt like the right thing to do. He would get what he needed without incriminating anyone else. Well, that was until now.

He saw Malfoy slip into a bathroom and followed him in. Malfoy had slid down the wall, and was he crying? Harry really had hurt him. He didn't hesitate to join Malfoy and slid down the wall next to him to watch him in silence.

"What do you want, Potter?" he said in a surprisingly condescending tone, considering he was half sobbing and had tears leaking down his face. Harry sighed while he tried to think of what to say. Malfoy would tell him everything he had already heard. Then, Harry would tell Malfoy his idea was not going to work and they could go to Dumbledore. The Order would protect Malfoy and his mother, since she would need it as well. His father was safe in Azkaban and there was nothing they could really do for him. That was a strange thought: safe in a prison.

"What was so important that you needed to tell me?" Harry asked as he tried to rub the headache out of his forehead, without much success. Malfoy had gotten himself under control as Harry was thinking and he glared at him with more distain than Harry had ever seen on Malfoy's face before.

"I like you," he bit out angrily. Harry was once again stunned, as though Malfoy had said he was willing to hand him over to Voldemort to die. Even though Harry wasn't sure what Voldemort planned on doing after Malfoy seduced him, he was sure the plan involved his death in some way. Malfoy had been right; he really could hold a grudge. Had Harry never had the previous conversation with Malfoy, the confession still would have made sense to him. It would be exactly how Malfoy would respond had he actually had feelings for him. He should have let Malfoy down and told him that he didn't feel that way about him. However, they both knew about Harry's fantasies, and he knew that denying them would not deter Malfoy.

He could have said that it would be too dangerous for them to be together. That he felt the same way too, but he just couldn't put Malfoy's life on the line like that. He had a feeling that would just push Malfoy on, since he had always loved getting underneath Harry's skin. If Harry resisted him it would just make Malfoy fight harder for it. Maybe there was another way out, but Harry didn't want to think hard enough to figure one out. What he had been dreaming about for over a year could actually happen now, and he wanted that power over Malfoy. What was Malfoy willing to do for Harry to trust him?

Harry didn't say anything; instead he just slammed his lips against Malfoy's. The other boy pushed back with just as much angry force, even though at first he had been caught off guard. Harry was surprised at how good it felt to actually kiss him. He had never felt passion like this before. It was hostile, but that didn't take away from the pleasure, just like when he thought about him whilst he masturbated. It was much more satisfying to have him in real life, even if it was all a lie.

Harry finally was able to push Malfoy onto his back, and forced his legs apart, settling himself in between them. They were fully clothed, but that didn't matter. They rutted together whilst snogging aggressively until they both came. Harry came first, and then reluctantly Malfoy, but Harry refused to stop until he had come as well. Harry wasn't going to let Malfoy have anything else to hold over him.

"So what now?" Harry said as he pulled himself up and leaned back against the wall. Malfoy didn't move; he just laid there staring at the ceiling and refused to look in Harry's direction. Harry took the opportunity to stare openly at him and memorized what his face and hair looked like post-orgasm. It was much different than what he had imagined. He'd thought that his hair would have stayed in place no matter what anyone else tried to do to it.

"I don't know." They shared the silence as Harry tried to figure out how to deal with this change in their relationship, and wondered if he would ever get a straight answer out of Malfoy. "I wasn't expecting that."

"What were you expecting, then?" Harry arched his eyebrow at him, challenging Malfoy to tell the truth, but Harry didn't get his hopes up that it would actually happen.

"Well, not for you to kiss me like that." Malfoy finally looked away from the ceiling and shifted to pull himself into a sitting position. "I just needed to tell you." "Well, I fancy you too… so?" Harry said, then waited for Malfoy to say something, anything about how he felt, or maybe about what Voldemort had asked him to do. When it didn't seem to be happening, he rolled his eyes and asked, "Do you want to go out… with me?"

"Do you?" Malfoy seemed nervous, though Harry had no idea why he would be. He wasn't the one with a freshly exposed crush on his enemy.

"Do you think I'm that stupid?" Malfoy looked shocked and a little scared, and Harry was just as surprised by his own outburst. Malfoy was going to go through with his mission. He didn't know why that upset him, but it did. He could help Malfoy and himself at the same time, but the last thing he needed in his life was more complications. "Our friends would kill us and your family would disown you."

"I didn't say we would tell anybody." Malfoy looked scandalized at the thought.

"So, you want to do this in secret?" It would be like his fantasies in real life: sneaking around behind everyone's back, yet almost getting caught. Ron and Hermione had been so caught up in each other recently that they hadn't noticed Harry too much anyway. Malfoy wasn't playing Quidditch that year either, so they wouldn't have to worry about it affecting their games. There really wasn't a down side that he could see or was willing to see, anyway.

"If it's the only way we can…" Malfoy seemed to be considering his options before he answered, "Yes."

"Okay," Harry replied nervously. "So, we're together?"

"Yeah," Malfoy agreed just as nervously, and with what appeared to Harry as slight disbelief.

"You know that means you can't have Pansy hanging all over you." This caused Malfoy to throw him a confused look. "I'd get jealous."

"I expect the same thing," Malfoy countered, which changed their awkward situation into more of a game of challenging each other. It was comfortable, at least a little more than the previous conversation had been, and Harry could feel himself smile again.

"Nobody hangs all over me," Harry pointed out. Even Ginny, who, despite the fact that she had a boyfriend, obviously liked him, always kept her distance. It was the only small mercy Harry seemed to have. Though he was told that many were after him, none of them were forward enough to wrap their arms around him.

"They stare enough." Malfoy glared accusingly at Harry as if he encouraged everyone to behave that way.

Harry rolled his eyes at this, but didn't lose his upbeat manner. "I can't stop people from staring."

Malfoy nodded his head, but continued to glare. They sat in silence and Harry was thinking about how to get them back to their days when Malfoy spoke in barely a whisper. "Everyone loves you… Most people don't much care for me."

Harry was torn. He had never seen this side of Malfoy before, and he couldn't decide if he was being truthful or if it was just for his mission.

"I'd need…to be constantly reassured…" He seemed to be forcing himself through it, but Harry thought he seemed sincere. "That you really want me."

Harry nodded his acceptance without even having to think about it. Whether it was an act he had practiced well on others before, or the first time he'd ever seen something real out of Malfoy, Harry had to accept it as the truth. It was the only way to move forward.

"I can handle it, Draco."

Malfoy jumped slightly at hearing his given name, and Harry hoped it was a good thing.

"I have a lot of love to give."

"Only to me," Malfoy ordered, "Harry."

Harry answered him by kissing him again.


	2. Realization

Thanks to my beta : LaughableBlackStorm

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Draco wasn't sure what had happened. He had planned that completely differently and he was sure it would work, but then Potter, being his usual stubborn self, had destroyed it. It still baffled him that Potter thought of him in that way. Draco wasn't surprised that Potter was bent, though it was an odd coincidence since he was himself. It was more the hostility that they had in every encounter. Draco had thought that Potter wore his heart on his sleeve and he should have noticed some sort of change when Potter began to see him sexually instead of as an enemy. Then again, maybe Potter had always liked Draco in that way. He could not figure out why he would refuse to be his friend, if he had always been attracted to him.

On Tuesday and Friday nights when they would meet up, Draco studied every move that Potter made. Potter bit his lip: – a lot. Draco didn't find this cute at all; in fact it annoyed him. He had to bite the side of his cheek to keep himself from saying anything. It was hard for him not to say anything, because as soon as Potter stopped doing one thing that Draco found annoying he started doing another. Then Potter would just look at him with a puzzled look like he wasn't sure what to expect from Draco or he thought Draco was plotting against him. Draco hated this more than the constant fidgeting. He knew there was no way that Potter knew about his mission or that Draco really didn't want to be there, but what was with those looks?

"What?"

"Nothing,." Potter blushed and looked down at his hands to pick at the skin around his fingernails. _Great, he's fidgeting again.,_ Draco rolled his eyes and stopped Potter's hands from continuing their mauling. Somehow Potter took that as an invitation to feel up Draco's hand, but Draco wasn't allowed to pull away, so he froze as Potter held his hand and slid closer to him. Wonderful, Potter was going to start kissing him again and he was expected to respond. Potter entwined their fingers and then brought his other hand up to gently turn Draco's mouth towards his. Draco complied but was stiff and didn't move at all during the first kiss.

"Relax."

"I am relaxed," Draco said, and he wished it had come out more sternly and not so much like a plea. Potter quirked an eyebrow at him, clearly amused.

"If this is you relaxed, I would hate to see you uptight." Potter kissed him again with little response from Draco. "Draco, what are you afraid of? I'm not going to hurt you. And you always enjoy yourself?." That was true. Eventually Draco would give in, relax and come far too close to coming than he was comfortable with. "You're not still in denial, are you?" What? He wasn't sure how to even respond to that. "About being bent?" Oh.

"No."

"Is anyone asking you where you've been?"

"No, it's nothing like that. Nobody suspects anything." Potter gave him a worried look. "Just because I don't go tell everyone that I'm gay doesn't mean I'm in denial. I'm not trying to fight against it." Potter pulled Draco closer and put his arm around him. Since they had started talking, Draco had become less stiff, but still didn't relax into Potter's embrace. It didn't stop him from running his hand down Draco's arm or breathing against his neck. Potter was constantly touching him. His face or hands and arms. Draco had thought Pansy was clingy, but it had already surpassed the point where Potter made more physical contact with him than anyone else, not just sexually either – more the hand holding and just holding in general.

"Then, what _is_ wrong?"

"Nothing." Draco tried to pull away, but Potter held him in place. "I'm just not used to being touched so much."

"You don't like me touching you?" Potter asked accusingly.

"Of course I like it," Draco blurted quickly. Potter stared at him, obviously not believing him.

"You don't act like it." Then to prove his point, he tucked a strand of Draco's hair behind his ear and let his finger lightly drag across his cheek, which caused Draco to tense once again.

"Can't you accept that I'm nervous?"

Potter laughed. "I make you nervous?"

"Yes." Draco had learned that Potter did in fact make him very nervous. Though he was nervous in general all the time ever since he'd received his mission.

"I'm sorry." Potter actually looked as though he _was_ sorry. "But I won't quit touching you. People need to be touched and I like touching you."

"I didn't say that I wanted you to stop."

"Good."

It surprised Draco how easy it was to hide everything they were doing from everyone around them. He had already been quiet and reserved that year, so the fact that they were non-confrontational in the halls went unnoticed by everyone. Potter's demeanor didn't seem to change even though they were meeting up. In the halls, he completely ignored that Draco was even there. Which bothered Draco, it always had, but more so now because he didn't want to call attention to them. Normally when Potter was walking around being glorified by everyone around him, Draco would cause a scene, but now he knew things he shouldn't know and was doing things he shouldn't be doing with Potter. He was too afraid he'd slip and say something that would give them away.

It had nothing to do with Potter, but it got worse for Draco the longer it continued. He tried to pretend that Potter was just any other guy, but it wouldn't have changed the situation. He tried messing around with other guys on the side, but that just made him feel like a slut, as well as dirty and used. It would have been enjoyable had it been his choice, but that was what was bothering him. It wasn't his choice; he couldn't say 'no' and he couldn't be himself around Potter. The constant fear that Potter would call everything off if Draco messed up, mixed with his unwillingness to be there to begin with, was making Draco physically ill.

Eventually, he would snap and say something insulting Potter. He couldn't hold back forever. The Room of Requirement always gave them a bed, but they never used it. Potter showed Draco the room, but Draco had already known of it himself. He had been curious about it when Potter used it for his secret meetings the previous year. He hadn't realized that it could become anything you wanted, until Potter took him there. It had always turned into the same room for him before and he'd thought that was the only room it ever became.

Every night they idly made fake conversation about things that either didn't really happen or that they didn't really care about, while they sat on the couch. Then they would start kissing and that would turn them on, but they never took it farther than coming in their pants from rubbing against each other. It amazed Draco that he was even able to accomplish that, with all of his conflicted feelings about what he was doing. He was a teen-aged boy, though, and he did get lost in the sensations when he concentrated on that instead of the hopeless situation he was in.

"I want…" Potter breathed and Draco tensed, but they continued as if Potter had said nothing at all. Draco knew what he wanted; it was the same thing that Draco wanted: more control in the situation. Though Potter would use that control to progress their relationship farther, and Draco would use it to run far away. They had been going for two months and it was only a matter of time before Potter asked for more. It surprised Draco that Potter had been as patient with him as he was. "I want you to suck me," Potter whispered in his ear, which caused Draco to stop responding immediately, but he didn't pull away. He was stunned that Potter actually had the nerve to say that. It was a rather big leap from what they had been doing so far.

Draco thought about it before he nodded his head shakily. Potter undid his trousers as a challenge, obviously expecting Draco to back down at any second. If this were a real relationship, Draco would want to do this for Potter and he knew that. Had Draco not been lying about fancying Potter and dreaming about doing just what Potter had asked, Draco might have made the attempt to say he wasn't ready. Though he had already said all of those things in an attempt to make Potter blush in the first few weeks of their relationship. Draco had achieved his goal then, but like with most of the things he's said in his life, he regretted them afterwords.

"Excited much?" Draco attempted to tease, before he touched Potter for the first time. Potter didn't answer and just stared at Draco and waited for him to make the next move. When Draco kneeled down in front of him, Draco was immediately reminded of the first and only time Pansy had ever done this for him. They'd been fourteen and had been dating for a few months. It was time to move their relationship to the next level, and also the cause of their break up. Draco leaned over and took Potter into his mouth, which made him want to vomit right there. It wasn't particularly disgusting, but he did not want to do it. He felt powerless and weak. It was worse that Potter technically wasn't doing anything wrong; Draco wanted to hate him more for what he was doing, but he couldn't. He knew that Potter wasn't the one using him and that he actually had feelings for Draco. Potter wouldn't make Draco do this if he knew how set against it he really was, but Draco refused to tell him. Would it really be that bad to admit that he was too scared to do this? Potter wasn't the type of person to hold something like that over him, not like Draco did with Pansy.

"You like that?" Potter said in a harsh tone that surprised Draco. He sounded angrier than someone should on the brink of orgasm, which Draco could tell he was. "You like being my little whore?" Potter's quick change in demeanor confused him. He had heard him use that tone with him plenty of times before, but never during their time alone together. "Yes," Potter moaned, as Draco finally put together what he hadn't been able to make sense of before. Potter started to move faster and harder into Draco's mouth, proving how close he was to coming.

It also helped confirm what he had just figured out. Voldemort never said that Potter had a crush on him and neither did Potter, really. That was why he could not pin point a time when Potter had changed toward him, because Potter never had changed. Potter thought about Draco when he wanked because of his anger toward Draco. He imaged he had power over Draco like he wanted to in real life. It was about humiliation, not love. Somewhere in the middle of his epiphany he began to cry.

Suddenly Potter stopped abruptly, grabbed Draco's arms and quickly pulled Draco off of him and up onto his lap. Potter wrapped his arms around him, and then he started to wipe the tears off Draco's face and kiss him gently where they'd been before. Draco was too stunned from his sudden revelation to even move and new tears were coming so fast that Potter alternated between kissing them and wiping them away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Potter was whispering with obvious concern in his voice. "Draco?"

Draco could hear Potter, but did not respond as too many things ran through his head at once. He once again ran through all the things he had studied about Potter in the last two months. He looked for clues as to what Voldemort really expected of him in the conversation they had about his mission. He tried to shake it all away when Potter started to stroke his hair. "I'm so sorry, baby." 'Baby' was really the last thing Draco wanted to hear at that moment. It was yet another parallel between them and what he had done to Pansy when they were together. He already felt bad enough about it and really didn't need to be put in her position in the situation, but out of everything it was easier to think about that than Voldemort. Or what Potter had probably been thinking a few minutes prior to his regretful loving side coming out.

_She had started crying. She was too young and not ready to go that far with him yet. It was her idea, and he didn't want to do it at first. He had never really been that interested in her and didn't want to have their relationship go any farther than it was. But, after she started he changed his mind. Then she started crying! _

_"Don't be such a baby, Pansy." _

_"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry."_

_"I thought you wanted this?"_

_"I did," she defended as she started to get her sobs under control. "I'm just not ready."_

_"Well then, maybe I'm not ready for a relationship." _

"I didn't mean it, baby, I'm sorry." Potter continued talking and consoling him and saying all the right things. Yet they were wrong at the same time, because Draco couldn't get the memory of Pansy out of his head. "I thought you wanted this." Draco had said that he wanted it, but that had been a lie. If Potter knew anything about him at all, he would have been able to tell that. Nothing that Draco had said up to that point had been the truth. Draco couldn't decide whether or not he should be angry about that. So Potter didn't know anything about him, but Draco spent most of his time making sure that no one knew anything about him. He glorified in the fact that everyone, even those closest to him, knew nothing about him.

"Who would want that?" Draco finally responded, though he was not sure if he was talking to Potter about what he had done, or to the memory of himself and what he had done to Pansy. He curled up in Potter's lap and buried his face in Potter's neck and cried. He cried harder than he had ever cried before, until he was shaking and sobbing for the hopeless situation he was in. He cried for the person he used to be and the guilt he was finally feeling for it. Then came the realization that anyone else would have laughed, but Potter cared enough to console him, even though Potter hated him. Potter still had too big of a heart to really let himself hurt him. Though Voldemort lied about the reason he wanted Draco to seduce Potter, he had not been lying about what he expected to be the outcome.

"I'm sorry," he kept whispering, as Draco thought the same thing, but kept it silently in his head. He was sorry for all the lies he had told before, but more that he knew he was going to continue to lie to Potter for much longer.

~… ~…~

Draco walked into the Slytherin common room and passed everyone by, ignoring them, just like always. Pansy had her bag over her shoulder and was walking towards the exit when he grabbed her arm from behind and spun her around to face him. Before she could utter the slightest protest, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.

He had never hugged her before.

He had not even attempted to touch her willingly before, just allowed her to hang on him. Though he had stopped letting her do that a few weeks prior and he knew it shocked her to have him randomly hug her when he never had before.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and he felt her stiffen. Draco never apologized for anything. "I'm sorry for how I broke up with you," he explained, since he knew she was confused without even looking at her. "I love you…like a sister. I didn't know how to tell you that then." In fact, he had not really known that then. It had taken him a long time to figure that out. After he'd quit fighting his urges to be with boys, he realized he had always been more worried about her feelings than the boys he did things with. He could never really be with her, though, and was nasty to try and push her away. "I'm sorry for the way I've treated you. Can you forgive me?"

"I forgave you a long time ago, Draco." He was still holding her with no sign of letting go and she was then hugging him back. The entire common room was watching them, but he didn't care. Had it been slightly different, Pansy would have been squealing for joy instead of close to tears, but he was finally setting things right. "What's her name?" she asked after he loosened his grip. He pulled back to look at her face to give her a confused look. "The girl that… caused this change in you."

He didn't want to lie to her, but couldn't tell her the truth. He had never told her about any of the guys he messed around with, but had it been any other guy then, he would have told her his name.

"There's no girl," he said instead.

~…~…~

Potter was already in the room waiting for Draco when he got there. That's how it normally went, though that time Draco had seriously debated about whether to meet up with him or not. He felt vulnerable around him ever since his break down. Draco had never let anyone see him break down before and had certainly not let anyone hold him through it.

Draco had done a lot of thinking in between their last visit and this one. He blamed the Dark Lord for the entire incident, not Potter. Had he been thirteen, he would have blamed Potter, just as he used to blame him for everything, even if it had nothing to do with him. Yet now, when Potter was also at fault, he couldn't bring himself to be angry with him. This was growing up: being able to look at things from another perspective and learning that things you believed to be true as a child were actually false. He was growing up and it hurt. Voldemort knew what he was doing and had put Draco in that position, wanting Potter to do what he did. Potter was the one that stopped and comforted Draco when he was hurting. Draco couldn't lie to himself and say that Voldemort was good and the right choice anymore.

Draco sat next to Potter, who slowly closed his book and laid down his quill. He did not want to talk about what had happened last time, so when Potter opened his mouth to speak Draco kissed him. It was the first time that he initiated it, and it felt a lot better than all the others because he did. He chose the action because it was easier than talking. Potter let Draco make all the moves. He did not push it farther than kissing, and Draco was happy to have a little control in the situation. Just this simple act of kissing, non-passionately, said everything they needed to voice. Potter, by letting Draco be dominate, said that he did not want to hurt him, and Draco, by just showing up and taking control, said that he forgave Potter and he trusted him.


	3. LoveHate

"I never meant to hurt you." Harry blurted as soon as he entered the room the next time they met up.

Draco nodded as Harry sat next to him.

"You still haven't said a word to me." He said with a waver in his voice then bit his lip waiting for something.

Draco shifted but remained silent.

"Say something!"

"I'm not mad at you… I just," he faltered as he tried to come up with what he wanted to say.

Harry stared at him whilst he waited and went back and forth between biting his lip and thumbnail.

"I've been thinking a lot… I suppose." Draco looked down at the ground going through the same things he had been all week. He had been quiet this year he knew that. Observing people more and tried to figure out what they were thinking. It all stemmed from this information he got about Harry. Before it was just wondering how many people really wanted him, but kept it hidden. It was just a self-esteem boost. Even the famous Harry Potter, the one everyone adored, secretly wanted him.

Then that night happened. He realized it had nothing to do with wanting him. When Harry first kissed him, he thought this would be easy. Just give him what he wants and he would die to protect Draco.

But, he did not really want Draco.

He wanted to humiliate him, like how Draco had done to Harry countless times in front of the whole school. It was not an on going crush like the Dark Lord as made it out to seem. Harry wanted to fuck him. Yes. He wanted to fuck him over so that he could see how it felt. Not that the plan would not work, it was already working. It would just be more difficult and it also got Draco thinking. How many people thought of him like Harry did? How many did he hurt and they get off at making him do humiliating things?

"Do you think… that a lot of people hate me?" Draco did not mean to make it sound so pathetic.

Harry was shocked at the question. How did they go from him apologizing to, well, that?

"I mean…" Why was he so nervous? Why did he feel he needed to talk to Potter about this at all? He should talk to Pansy about it or Blaise.

"Yes."

That was blunt and Draco winced. He felt like he was just punched in the gut. It hurt, which was odd. He really did not care what other people thought of him. He did not like the idea that they thought up ways to hurt him though.

"You treat people like they don't matter and that hurts."

Harry just admitted to him that he hurt him and Draco was speechless. He was only trying to be funny and hurt Harry. But, that was only because Harry hurt him and was so full of himself. He really did not think anything he said had ever got to Harry. He did not know anything bothered him at all.

"I'm sure a lot of people, if not the whole school…" Harry looked away from Draco lulled his head, "Has thought about doing something similar to what I did to you the other night." He chanced a look at Draco to gauge his reaction.

Draco just starred at him stunned.

He could not process that right then. It was too much. He had pressure from his father to be the top at everything and act like a proper pure-blood, even though his father was in prison. He much more pressure from the Dark Lord to do this mission, which also caused him a lot of guilt. Then there was Snape who was constantly trying to get information out of him and 'help' him. He also had to worry about his mother that was in constant company with the people that would kill her if he failed this. Then he found out that everyone hated him. The only people that would care if he died were using him and he wasn't even sure if they really cared. Except for his mother whom was defenseless, he was in this alone.

"Kiss me," Draco barely whispered.

"What?" Harry asked in surprise. Draco shifted moods and emotions more than any girl on their period that Harry had ever met.

"Remember, I told you. I need constant reassurance?"

He shifted closer to Harry.

"Now, kiss me."

Harry complied and they began snogging. They had done this quite a few times recently, but this was different. Very different from Harry's perspective, Draco was not fighting against it. In fact they were not fighting at all. This was so much better then all the other times.

Harry did not realize he was pushing Draco backwards until he was on top of him. They were in the same position they were the first time this happened. Only this time they were on a couch, and they were kissing each other softly. In comparison to that time they were on the bathroom floor and everything was rough. Harry could do this for hours, or as long as Draco would let him. Just massaging his tongue against Draco's, whilst Draco did the same. Experimenting with inserting his tongue at different angles. Tilting his head to the left, then switching to the right. Pulling Draco up and closer to him then switching back to the left.

Yes, he could do this for a very long time.

As long as Draco was enjoying it and they didn't go so fast, which would make them come. Harry pulled back to lick up Draco's lips. This caused Draco to moan when Harry returned to snogging him again. Draco was amazed at how good this could feel. He had only been with Pansy previously to Harry and he had not enjoyed it very much. Harry was holding him and before he felt constrained, but since he was no longer fighting it, he felt safe.

"Harry?" Draco said is soft quiet voice, as if he was half hoping that Harry would not hear him.

"Yes?" Harry was stroking Draco's hair and twisting it with the tips of his fingers. It did not stay curled, felt straight unless it was force other wise. Harry mused that Draco probably never had knots in his hair when he woke up.

"Do you think that you could ever love me?"

Harry looked away from Draco's hair to stare at him in shock. Who would have thought that Draco Malfoy would even care? Unless, it was just an act to get Harry to care about him, Harry really didn't believe that Draco would fake that though. He looked scared and was definitely upset by the idea that so many people hated him.

Could he? No matter how beautiful Draco was, he was still a spoiled selfish prat, whom loved to make everyone else as miserable as he was. That's the thing though, wasn't it? If Draco weren't so miserable all the time, maybe he would not be so bad. He was easy to get along with when no one else was around. Especially when they weren't talking.

"Yea, I think I could."

Draco exhaled and Harry kissed him softly on the lips once more.

"You're really beautiful, you know that?"

He nodded, but then looked away. This could actually work and that was really bothering Draco. Harry could learn to love him. Very few people loved him, and if Harry did, then he would be setting up someone to die: because they loved him.

"I need to tell you something."

Harry tensed, Fuck! What do I do now?

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before he continued. "Voldemort told me to get close to you," He said quickly, before Harry could shut him up he finished. "So that he could use me as bait to kill you." It had barely lasted three weeks, before Draco felt guilty. How was he supposed to make it through the whole year?

"I know," he sighed and buried his face into Draco's neck. "You told me," he whispered. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this."

I told him? Why? What all had he missed and why could he not remember it? He did not notice Harry picking up his wand, until he heard the spell. Then it was too late.

Harry stayed still on top of him and began to softly kiss him, like that had been doing the whole time. According to Draco's memory. He tried not to feel guilty about stealing more of Draco's memory, but it had to be done. There was no other way, at least not that he could think of in that moment.

"Harry?" Draco said in a soft voice, as if hoping that Harry wouldn't hear him.

Harry pretended not to and just went back to snogging him a little more forcefully, and prompted Draco to start rubbing back against him. They slowly gained speed and mutually agreed on a pace until Draco was coming and Harry followed shortly. Harry sighed in relief, but Draco thought it was because he was tired.

"Do you want to go to bed? It's getting late."

"Yea, we should go." He smiled and Draco who smirked back up at him. "I can't wait to see you again." Harry admitted with a blush as he pulled away and Draco sat up.

"Sappy Gryffindor," Draco rolled his eyes and smoothed out his hair.

"You love it."


	4. I could fall in love with you

Draco didn't know what to do. For a split second during his last meeting with Harry, he was going to tell him. He was going to blow his mission all because he felt guilty. It ended up happening frequently. Every time Draco would think about just telling the truth Harry would find a way to shut him up. It was like Harry could read his mind or something just by looking at his face knew that he needed to make Draco stop talking.

He was not in love with him. That was not it at all. Draco just did not like the idea of being the cause of someone's death. He hated that Harry cared so much about him. He shouldn't. After everything that he had done to Harry; he just forgave him in an instant. The only thing Draco could be thankful for then was that he wasn't faking it anymore. He did not feel disgusted with himself as he spent time with Harry. He was beginning to enjoy it just as much as Harry seemed to.

In the hallways he tried to avoid Harry though. If he did not fight with him everyone would find it odd. So as long as he did not see him no one called him out on it. During meals sometimes his friends would say some insult about Harry, but Draco only grunted in response. He would still fling insults when he had to, but the were half hearted at best. Draco had a feeling that Harry could tell though no one else could.

Harry never mentioned it when they were alone. He knew what Draco would say. That it was a front and he had to do it. What bothered Harry was that it was really the other way around. Draco had to spend time with him and the insults were real. He noticed that things had changed though and that Draco was doing it more out of habit. The words did not hold the spiteful tone he was use to hearing.

He would catch Draco looking at him funny from across the great hall during meals. It was not the longing look of a lover, but obvious confusion. Some times he wished it were the first. That would have been bad though. Someone would notice that. No one noticed their disappearances and that Harry was grateful for. Harry was not sure how far he should take this. Since 'the incident' as he called it to himself, he never spoke of it out loud. They had not gone past snogging and touching, either.

The first time Harry undid his belt Draco tensed obviously frighten. It caused Harry's stomach to twist so he started to undo his own trousers instead.

It did not help Draco relax at all.

Harry wanted contact again. They had been in this lull since 'the incident' and he was getting bored with it. They never really talked, but there was nothing they could talk about either. He was too afraid that if they did he would have to oblivate Draco again or worse they would fight. It would be more likely that they would fight. Harry did not want to think about why he did not want to fight with Draco either.

When he tried to put his hand down Draco's pants he stopped him and pulled back. "Wait." He said and tried to find a way to explain what he wanted to wait for.

Harry sighed and sat back as Draco thought of what to say.

"I...'m… not ready." He winced after he said it. That was nothing compared to what they had already done. He sounded like a little girl, which he did not like at all. He didn't want to say he was sorry, but it almost came out.

"It's okay. I'm not trying to push you."

Harry pulled Draco close to him again and started to kiss his neck right behind his ear.

"We don't have to do what we did before."

He nibbled and sucked on his ear.

"Merlin," Harry groaned as he squeezed Draco tighter against him. "I just want to touch you." He slid his hand down again and under Draco's pants until it came into contact with his skin. Draco held back a gasp though if it was from pleasure or fear he was unsure.

After a couple minutes it was definitely pleasure and he was already close to coming before he slipped his hand into Harry's pants. It did not take much for either of them at that point. Somehow in the mist of everything Harry had found his way on top of Draco. He starred down into his eyes, and Draco slowly got uncomfortable with the situation.

"You're really beautiful." Why did they keep ending up in this situation? The last time this happened Harry had to erase it and it shouldn't have bothered him that much.

It did though.

Draco had seemed so real and Harry knew that they had a moment. Then he lost it. Or rather he stole it from Draco. He wanted to give it back though. He loved that he knew more about Draco than anyone else. It was just not enough. Draco needed to know that Harry knew more about him than anyone else.

"I could fall in love with you."

Then he forced Draco into a passionate kiss before he could protest or even begin to feel guilty about his mission. It was not the same as the first one they shared, but he got to keep that one. It was safe.

Draco had to end this.

The guilt was constant and it was becoming unbearable. It was obvious to him that Harry was falling for him fast. He had tried to keep it purely physical and let nothing real transpire between them. Yet at random moments Harry would pop out with something unbelievably sincere. It always seemed completely out of place and he could not get over the feeling that he was missing something.

Weeks went by and Christmas was coming. They went to Hogsmeade each with their group of friends. Draco noticed that Harry's friends were absent from his presence. So he ditched his friends when they entered Honeydukes and went to see where he might have gone. He thought nothing of his actions at first. He was use to searching for Harry wherever he went.

It had become a habit long before.

What made this different was that he left his friends. He did not realize how dangerous that was until he found him.

He was obviously Christmas shopping for someone. Draco wondered whom he could possibly be shopping in 'The Treasury' for. It was a rather obscure expensive place to shop. It happened to be one of his favorite stores, but he had never seen Harry go anywhere near it.

He entered hoping to go unnoticed as if that was possible. He could see that Harry was looking at miniature dragons before he looked up and noticed Draco on the other side of the store.

Draco turned away and walked farther back into the store. He did not have to look to know that Harry was following him. They were the only students in the store so he went back far enough that the owner could not see him from where he was standing. He had not meant it to be an invitation, but after he thought about it maybe it was. Harry was on him kissing his neck before he even flipped him around to claim his mouth.

"Is twice a week really enough for you?" He said in between snogging Draco senseless. At first Draco tried to resist. They were in public and any one could walk in and see. That thought for some reason turned him on. So he switched from fighting to get away to fighting for dominance. He backed Harry up against the nearest wall and held his hand against it taking control completely. Harry let him and when Draco opened his eyes he saw that Harry was grinning.

"No, it's not." Draco answered after he pulled back and rested his forehead against Harry's. "We really shouldn't do this here."

"It seems I found one of your kinks though," Harry teased as he pressed up against him. "Public places?"

"I think its more the idea of getting caught…" He answered pulling back and crossing his arms defensively. They needed distance between them or Draco would let Harry take him farther there in the store then he had yet in private. "Why're you here anyway?"

Harry shrugged and looked away shyly. "Shopping what else?"

That was when it hit him. Harry wanted to buy something for Draco. Nothing in that store would have been interesting to anyone else that Harry was a friend with. He glanced back over at the dragons. "What?" Harry got nervous at the look on Draco's face.

"The dragons are nice, but I have dozen of them." He smiled slightly. "I can't even tell them apart anymore."

Harry had wanted it to be a surprise. That stunned look that he had just seen on Draco's face. He wanted to see when they were alone and had given him whatever he picked out for him. He felt stupid for even thinking about getting him something then. Draco probably had not given it any thought.

The thing was that he didn't care. He knew that Draco would most likely not get him anything. It did not change the fact that he wanted to get something for him. He liked seeing people smile and he really liked to be the reason they smiled. Recently he realized that he hardly ever saw Draco smile and when he did it was forced. He wanted to see a real one. Then he knew that Draco would not have been impressed by what he had selected. He knew nothing about him just as much as how many other people that got him the same thing.

"Good to know," Harry mumbled still not looking at Draco.

"I do actually like dragons," Draco added as he tried to be helpful. "The arctic are my favorite." He sighed and rubbed his nose. "I didn't expect…"

"I know you didn't." Harry turned to walk back towards the front of the store.

Draco grabbed his arm to stop him.

"That wasn't why I wanted to do it."

Draco did not know how to respond nor did he get the chance because the bell on the door rang. He released Harry who walked right past Blaise and Pansy and out the door.

He walked with his friends around town whilst he thought of what he should get Harry. Even if Harry decided that he was not going to get him anything. Draco wanted to then. They were dating. It was what they were supposed to do. He realized that he knew absolutely nothing about Harry. When buying something for a lover it should be personal.

The only thing he could think of was candy and Quidditch both were idiotic ideas. He decided he would try to find something over Christmas break. Until then he would try to find out all he could about Harry.

Their last meeting before break was tense. It seemed they both wanted to talk, but neither knew how to start a conversation with the other.

"What're you doing for Christmas?" Draco asked first.

Harry shrugged before he answered. "Spending it with the Weasley's like always." They had not mentioned the idea of Christmas since they had ran into each other at the shop. "You?"

"Home." Draco replied simply. "We used to go to France to visit my father's cousins, but with everything…" He did not know how to explain it. Then he thought about what was waiting for him at home. What if Voldemort planned to do his 'kidnapping' attempt then? His mission went very well and Harry would probably worry if he did not return to school. Or worst he could call Harry out threatening Draco's life. It would be easier for Harry to get away from the Weasley's than it was to leave Hogwarts. Not that anything had ever stopped him before.

"Yea," Harry agreed not wanting him to continue with that train of thought. The war was a bad subject no matter how he looked at it. "So what kind of things do Slytherins normally get each other?" Harry laughed, "I can't even picture attempting to shop for Goyle or Pansy."

Draco smirked. "Crabbe and Goyle are easy, anything that they can eat works well."

Harry laughed.

"I did make the mistake of getting them books one year." Draco rolled his eyes at the memory of their confused faces. "Pansy is also surprisingly easy. Anything from France will do. She's never been so it makes her feel incredibly exotic to own things from there."

"Ron's a little like them I guess. He likes food, but he enjoys a good Quidditch book as well." Harry moved closer and pulled Draco in between his legs. They got into the habit of spending their time on the bed instead of the couch. It had more room and was more comfortable. Harry was leaning against the headboard with Draco's back against his chest.

"Blaise is the difficult one." He explained. "He's like me. We already have everything that we want - material wise." He mused that thought for a while. "I can't think of anything that I've really wanted in years."

"Material or at all?" Harry asked.

"Material, there're a lot of things I want." He sighed and leaned farther into Harry. Subconsciously he leaned his head back against Harry and turned his face into his neck inhaling his scent. "Just nothing that can be bought."

"Like what?" He whispered as he tried to look down at Draco. It put his neck in an awkward angle. Draco looked back up but left his head on Harry shoulder whilst he remained silent contemplating it.

"My father to be home." He said first as it was the most obvious. He grimaced at the thought of what he did to Harry's nose at the beginning of the year. Even then there was a part of him that knew it was not Harry's fault. A bigger part of him just wanted to blame someone. "To hear the words 'I love you' or to be able to trust someone and not wonder how they are going to use everything I say against me somehow."

Harry had not expected Draco to poor his soul out to him. Draco was starring off into the distance more like he was just thinking out loud than actually talking to him.

"I used to beg my parents for a sibling when I was really young." He gave a painful laugh. "That's when they 'introduced' me to Crabbe and Goyle." He closed his eyes and turned his face back into Harry's neck. "I'd like someone that wanted to spend time with me without getting paid for it."

Harry stiffened as he thought over everything he was saying. "You don't actually believe that your dad pays them to be your friends do you?" Harry pulled Draco up so that he could look at his face.

"I know he does," He waved it off as if it was nothing important. "They have to be nice to me no matter what I do them. Pansy is just the same only she doesn't get money. She's hoping that our parents will arrange a marriage between us."

Harry looked confused then why did she bother with Draco at all? Why not just suck up to his parents?

"If it looks like where friends then they'll think they're doing me a favor. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm bent and wouldn't like who they picked no matter what."

Harry was extraordinary relieved to find out that at least Draco was in one way attracted to him. Him being a guy probably made the situation easier. He had figured that he must have been bisexual or he would not have done everything that they already had. Yet, he had tired to get out of it in the beginning and did say that he could hold a grudge.

"I'm not sure really what to call Blaise. He is more of an acquaintance. We talk, but just like Pansy I can't trust him. I enjoy spending time with him more than the others though."

"Why?"

"He can hold an intelligent conversation and since he wants nothing from me is completely honest with me. He's the only person that insults me."

"So you like him because he insults you?" Harry shook his head in confusion that anyone would think like that. Then he thought about all the things that Draco had said about him over the years.

"It's fucked up I know." Draco bit his lip with a dazed look. "He cares about me more than they do though. If he didn't he wouldn't waste his breath. You know?" It made perfect sense to Draco. There were plenty of people that were much more pathetic than Harry, but he did not bother antagonizing them all.

"By insulting you?"

Draco nodded.

"He's not the one that cares about you the most…" Harry looked down at his hands. "You already have most of those things you said that wanted."

Draco was then confused. No he didn't. He had just explained how none of them were like that and why they were his friends.

Harry wrapped his arms around him and kissed his neck then held him tight as he whispered, "I love you."

Draco started shaking. No, no, no, no. It was what he wanted and the last thing he wanted at the same time.

Harry knew that he had to shut Draco up or he would have to erase that moment to. He did as he normally did and shoved his tongue in his mouth when he opened it to talk. Draco tried to push him off but he couldn't. Harry was stronger than him and was going to get his way so he submitted to him. When he finally allowed Draco to breathe he started talking and did not let Harry stop him.

"Promise me that you won't try to save me." Draco said sternly

"No." Harry said with the angry venom that he had not heard come from him in months. "I will never promise that."

"Harry, you have to. Believe me I can take care of myself," He pleaded.

"Draco, I love you." He felt like he was about to cry, but then Draco did.

It was completely silent, but Harry was starring right at him so there was no way he could miss it.

"Everyone I love is in danger because I love them and I refuse to let anything happen to you."

Draco couldn't think of how to make him see with just telling him. He closed his eyes and prepared himself. He was going to break his heart, but at least then Harry wouldn't needlessly die for him.

"NO!" Harry yelled as Draco opened his mouth. "We're not going to loose this!" He was frustrated with the entire situation. He wanted the sweet moments with him, but then need the cold version also to preserve them. "So just shut up!"

It worked Draco was stunned and glared up at Harry. He refused to talk for the rest of the night as Harry held him and would kiss him in random place. Never on the mouth though, because Draco was mad and he knew that he would not kiss him back even if he was letting Harry hold him. And that would have hurt too much.


	5. Christmas

**Christmas Break for Harry**

"Harry!" Ginny called up the stairs. "It's time to open the presents and Ron says we can't start without you."

He had been awake for hours, but pretended to be asleep so that he could have a few moments alone. Ron always complained about the mass of people that he lived with, but Harry had always enjoyed their company. It kept him busy so that he did not have time thing about the less pleasant things in life.

"I'll be right down," He bellowed back as he finished getting dressed by pulling his shirt over his head. That break help Harry understand Ron's need of privacy that he complained about all the time. He had a lot to think about, which was impossible when constantly surrounded by people. If he was quiet too long they bugged him about it so he spent a lot of time pretending to sleep or going for walks. That didn't seem to bother them as much.

When he got downstairs they were all gathered together in the living room. He wondered what Draco was doing then. Which was what he had spent most of his time doing that week. He pictured his family sitting all together much like the Weasley's were except all stiff and formal. The thought made him want to laugh.

He sat by Ron on the couch then Ginny sat next to him. He thought nothing of that at first it was not until they were mid way through opening presents that he noticed she kept brushing his arm with hers. It was easy to not notice whilst everyone was shuffling around, but it seemed that she got impatient with his lack of acknowledgement. The last time she slowly drug her arm against his and then back again.

He definitely noticed that.

When he turned to give her a curious look she smiled at him. After that he jumped up out of his seat he began mumbling something about a drink so he could escape to the kitchen. He had never given her any reason to believe that he would like her like that had he? It was a conscious decision to never flirt with anyone. He did not want them to get hurt. While he got a gulped a glass of water down he racked his brain as to what he could have done to prompt this. When he came up with nothing he just stood there and tried to figure out what to do. Which of course took too long and Ginny had come to look for him.

"Hey," She said as she walked across the kitchen towards him. For the life of him he had no idea how he had not seen it coming. It was not like she hid the fact she liked him, but she had never been so forward before. If he could really consider a brush of her arm forward, which of course he did since he never flirted with anyone and ignored anything that was subtle from those who did have the nerve to flirt with him.

"Hey," He mumbled then turned to refill his glass once more. She mistook his nervousness as sign that he was also interested in her. Really who would not have thought the same in that situation? She reached out to touch his arm once more his reflexes swatted it away. Before she could voice her confusion Harry confronted her, "Aren't you with Dean?"

"That hasn't really been going well." That was news to him they had seemed fine when they were snogging in the back booth of Hogshead just before the holidays. "We're on a break right now. It might be indefinite."

"I…" He almost had let 'I'm in love with someone else' out. Then thought better of that one. Which also ruled out 'I'm seeing someone' being that both of those would have raised questions he was not ready to handle at that point. "You know how I've been distance lately?" She did not even have to think about that.

"Yes." The hopefulness was obvious in her voice as she thought his distance was because different things occupied his mind. It only became more noticeable when he confirmed that idea.

"Well, I've been thinking… a lot." She was so sure that he had been thinking about her. He had been so tense around her for months and just recently had trouble when he attempted to look her in the eye. Sure signs that he was thinking not so innocent things about her. It was something that she had achieved a lot of experience in from being around him.

"I… maybe this would be easier if I just did it all at once." He said out loud more to himself than her.

She followed him after he walked right past her toward the living room. Did what? Was he going to ask Ron's permission first or something? She rolled her eyes that sounded just like something he would do. Ron was always getting in her way. According to Dean he had been completely miserable to deal with since they started to date. "Ron, We need to talk." Ron caught sight of his sister scowling at him from behind Harry.

Ron shook his head no and told himself that it could not be happening. His best friend was not about to tell him he hooked up with his sister. Hermione had warned him that it might happen, but he told her she was mental. Harry would never do that to him.

"No!" Ron shouted, "No you can't!"

"Wait? I haven't even said anything yet," Harry backed up as Ron stood.

"You don't have to." He waved his arms the air towards his sister. It was so obvious what had happened. "You're dating my sister."

Ron looked at her then, as Harry sputtered, "I'm not dating your sister."

"Is that why you broke up with Dean then?"

Ginny held her chin up high, "Yes." She just knew that Ron would react like that and held him in her stead glare.

The rest of the Weasleys had actually heard what Harry said. At first Mrs. Weasley had attempted to calm them down, but since no one heard her and it was obviously not the situation Ron and Ginny seemed to have thought it was. They all decided to sit, watch and wait for it to work itself out.

"And you have no business telling me or him who we can or can't date!"

"Thank you Ginny, but…" Harry was completely ignored once again.

"I do to have a say. He's my best mate and not allowed to touch my sister!" Ron bellowed at her as if she was across the house in not two inches from his face.

"I don't want to touch…" Harry started louder that time, but since nowhere near the volume of the other two went unnoticed by them.

"It's my body and he can touch it if he wants to!" Then she turned toward him as if she was going to prove it right then and there.

Harry backed up and yelled, "NO! Stop!"

Which in the then silence was more of shock then the previous fight.

"I don't want to touch Ginny. I'm bent!" He stood there still with his hands up defensively against Ginny's presence. The rest of the family sat in stunned silence as if they were watching a muggle film. Sometime before Fred or George, maybe it was both of them, summoned a tray full of pastries and pretzels from the kitchen.

"What!" Both Ron and Ginny said at the same time with identical tones.

That was what he had been thinking ever since his declaration of love to Draco. He had couldn't figure out what had brought that on. His recent secretive nature happened because he needed time to think about it. It had not seemed odd that he thought about Draco while he wanked before. He had a perfectly reasonable explanation for it. The same as why he carried on the relationship he had with him then. It was just a needed release, until he became possessive and then thought about buying him things.

It was the holiday's fault he thought at first. Had he not been buying gifts for his friends then he would not have thought to get anything for Draco. Then they never would have had that moment in the shop, which he was sure had caused the conversation that led to his declaration of love. But then it was there and he could not escape it. It had become all he thought about and the more he thought about it the more he realized that it was true.

It might have been on a whim, but it wasn't a lie.

"I fancy boys and not girls." It definitely felt different when said out loud. It confirmed the truth. He wished he could have waited until Hermione was there. She would have helped him with the conversation he had to have.

"Wait," Ron suddenly responded. "You don't fancy one of my brother's do you?"

Harry silently shook his head no. Honestly, he had never looked at any male that way until Draco. Why did he believe he was bent then if Draco was the only one? He thought about that a lot. He told himself there was no possible way.

He had a thing for Cho for the longest time.

He had to be straight.

Only she kind of looked liked a feminine guy, much like Draco. When he was truly honest with himself he realized that Draco had more feminine qualities than Cho ever possessed, at least when he looked from a far.

After spending time alone with both of them Draco was certainly a guy and in that regard Harry felt comfortable. Cho turned out to be, well the typical average girl. She liked girly things like dates at horribly flowerily teashops that made Harry's stomach turn. It indecently also reminded him of Delores Umbridge which he had no desire to ever be reminded of. After debating with himself constantly he figured out a few things.

He did not like girls that acted like girls.

He had no problem thinking only about a boy when he wanked and even before that he had never pictured a girl naked anyway.

He always pictured Draco naked, but he had also always told himself that was because it was easier to imagine. Being a boy himself he could pretty much figure out what Draco probably looked like. Girls where more difficult he had never seen one naked before.

The one guy he was attracted too was very feminine, but when he tried to deicide what feminine really meant all he could come up with was clean or soft.

So he was attracted to clean, soft people that acted like boys. That was what it came down to. Then he realized that Ginny fit that criteria and he knew he had to be bent because he was not attracted to her. He was, whatever the hell sexuality someone is, who liked clean, soft, people with boy personalities would be.

"It's not me is it?" Ron asked after everyone let the information sink in.

"No," Harry sighed. "It's not like that, I just figured it out."

"Well, How'd you figure it out if you're not attracted to anyone?" Ron pressed as he slowly stepped toward Harry.

"I didn't say that I wasn't attracted to anyone, just not anyone here," Harry explained then Ron tried to continue to question him but thankfully Mrs. Weasley cut him off.

"That's enough, dear. Harry has said enough, he'll tell you when he's ready." She nodded and tried to get everyone back into the friendly moods they were previous to that conversation. Every time Harry and Ron were alone it was uncomfortable. Harry knew that Ron didn't mean to push Harry away, but it hurt just the same. When he pictured telling everyone he hadn't really expected any of them to be homophobic. Harry was never so thankful for Hermione's presence when she finally showed up.

"Ronald you're being ridiculous!" Hermione yelled.

Harry had just left the room but had no intention of actually going downstairs. He just couldn't handle the tension anymore.

"So what if he's gay that doesn't mean he is attracted to you!"

"That's what he said…"

"Well, them maybe you should listen to him."

Ron stayed silent.

"Are you attracted to every girl you ever see?"

"No," he stated quietly, "but,"

"But nothing," she interrupted. "He looks at you like a brother Ron and not in that way at all…"

"But, we've changed in the same room together… we all shower together after Quidditch." Harry let his head fall back against the wall. He'd never thought about any of them like that. They were his friends and not people he had the slightest romantic interest in.

"And like I said do you check out every girl that walks by?"

"I would if they were naked!"

Harry almost laughed at that. He would notice anyone if they were walking down the street naked… in the locker rooms it was just different. Everyone was naked there and it had never been a big deal.

"He didn't even know before, don't you think if he was checking you all out he would have known?" Hermione pointed out.

"Who do you think it is then?"

"What do you mean?"

"He obviously fancies someone… if you had to guess. Who do you think it is?" Ron asked. Harry held his breath as he waited for Hermione to guess.

"I don't know, its not like I know his type to have anything to go on."

"Yea, just male."

"Oh, shove it."

The last day before the end of Christmas break they when shopping as always. Except that time Harry was looking for something. Hermione was the first to notice and while Ron was distracted she confronted him about it.

"It's nothing," He assured her.

"You know if you need any help I'm here," She said. "If you don't know what he likes, then what about jewelry. It works for girls."

Harry rolled his eyes.

"They have very fashionable bracelets for men, they're really popular with the muggle boys."

"What about a ring?"

"I don't know Harry," she said sympathetically. "Rings symbolize commitment."

"Do they?" He asked feigning naivety.

**Christmas Break for Draco**

The second Draco got home with his mother he turned and embraced her. It shocked her at first he had not done that since he was about thirteen and he had never said what he was about it.

"I love you mother." She gasped and then held him tight unsure of why he was acting that way.

"I love you too, Draco," she whispered. "What brought this on?"

He tilted his head as he pulled away. "I've been thinking and I realized it had been a while since I let you know that." It was more like never. Though she smiled instead of saying such a thing.

"How's school been?" She started instead as they walked idly through the Manor.

"Good…" They were close and he wrote her once a week so they really didn't have a lot to catch up on.

It was odd being at home for Christmas and even stranger with his father not there. Friends came and went wishing them a Happy Christmas, but then didn't go to visit family. They decorated their manor themselves, well parts of it. Normally they let the house elves do all the decorating while they went out shopping. His mother didn't feel up to leaving the manor even to shop.

Then the Dark Lord was there.

"How is your mission going?" He asked and Draco bowed before him, hating more every second.

"Perfectly, my Lord." Draco said, as the Dark Lord nodded then lifted his wand.

"Show me!" Then he jumped into Draco brain and shifted through all his encounters with Harry. It was painful having his memories ripped through and then paused to see in slow motion some of their more private moments. He left nothing unturned. Draco wanted to fight and keep some of that private particularly the part when Harry told him he loved him, but the Dark Lord found it. He played that part over and over again through Draco's head and began to laugh. Draco clenched his teeth whilst he attempted to keep his anger under control. Voldemort could see his memories, but he couldn't feel his emotions. Though lashing out in anyway would ruin everything.

"You asked him to not save you why?" Draco had not thought that part through, but he had always been good a thinking on his feet.

"To make it more believable my Lord," Draco explained. Harry had known him since he was eleven and even with them being together he would notice if Draco acted too much unlike himself. "He would know it was a trick if I acted as some damsel in distress."

The Dark Lord nodded at this and then sent him away.

A few days after his meeting he had managed to forget all about the Dark Lord and concentrate on what he wanted to get Harry. Harry did not have many material things it should have been easy. He could really use some proper clothes, but that might make people ask too many questions. Maybe even new shoes, though it would irate Draco to no end his shoes not matching any of his clothes. That's if he would even wear them. Draco had a horrible metal image of Harry faking a smile with that one. He figured that Granger probably always bought him books and Weasley's gave him all the Quidditch gear and candy he could possibly want.

When it came to non material things there was only one thing he could really give him: Himself and not even completely, because he was already marked and he couldn't take that away. It was a hard decision even after he had decided against buying him anything.

The last two days before he was to return to school his mother decided they should go to France. Draco was surprised, but agreed he had not thought about this being her orders from the Dark Lord until it was time to go back. He needed to return and she made no attempt to take him. He was packed and ready and getting more nervous by the minute.

"Mum, when are we leaving?" He tried nonchalantly.

"I thought you'd like a little extra holiday," she said sweetly.

"I really need to get back to school," he insisted. "I would rather not have to catch up on homework a week late."

"Oh, I was only thinking a day…" She sat calmly as he began to have a panic attack. It was happening, they were going to attack Harry then.

"I really need to get back to school, mum," he insisted.

"I thought you hated it there."

"I do… but," How did he explain this without worrying her too much? Then her expression changed from confusion and it seemed that he didn't have to explain himself this time.

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"You know your happiness is what is the most important to me?"

He nodded.

"Your father as well, even if he does not show it."

"This has nothing to do with that," Draco insisted. "I just don't want to fall behind in my classes."

"Whatever you decided we will support you, I promise." She ignored his protest and then went to gather her things. He watched her confused about her sudden change of heart.

"Will he get mad?" Draco whispered.

"That you go back earlier than planned? No, he just said to make you late, not how late you had to be."

Draco sighed in relief and hoped that Harry did not rush off looking for him before he got there. His stomach was in knots nonetheless.

"I know what you're supposed to do Draco… and I know that you've done it."

He blushed and looked away, but not at the ground. There were some definite things about himself that he had never wanted his mother to know about. That was one of the major ones.

"If you want out," she continued. "We can always run."

He didn't want out. He didn't like the idea of being used as bait either, but he would be more worried if he was far away and could do nothing.

No, he wanted to go back.

So she gathered her things and sent them home as he gathered his and they went back to Hogwarts.

"It's better this way really," she said as they finally arrived there early the next morning. "I needed to talk to Severus anyway, so after I explain why you're late. I'll have a chance to speak with him." She kissed him on the cheek and sent him on his way as she turned to head towards the headmaster's office.


	6. Presents

"Harry calm down your going to rip that book to shreds," Hermione scowled him. "What has gotten you so nervous?" Harry had been fiddling with the corner of his book while starring across the Great Hall where Draco usually sat. He was not on the train and he had not made it to dinner that night either.

"It's nothing," Harry said, but then moved to get up. "I'm going to head to bed I'm tired."

His friends nodded him 'goodnight' and watched him hurry out of the hall.

"What do you think is up with him?" Ron asked finally seeming worried about his friend once more.

"I don't know, but he's defiantly keeping something from us."

"What else could he possibly be hiding?" Ron thought that anything would pale in comparison to him declaring his preference for men.

"I don't know, I think he's seeing someone," she mused. "After all why tell us now and not before?"

Out in the hall Harry pulled out his map and scanned it for Draco's name. It was nowhere to be found still he went to the room of requirement just in case. Draco was not there either. He passed back and for as he tried to decide what to do. Draco could be in trouble and he should go find him, but that is just what Voldemort wanted him to do.

He eventually lay on the bed then began to toss and turn all night. Three times he woke up from nightmares about what Voldemort might be doing to Draco. They were not visions though, just dreams. Then finally just before dawn he did have a vision of that was brought on from Voldemort. He was beating Draco and he could see Draco crying his tears mixing with the blood that he was covered in. Harry jumped up grabbed his things fully preparing to escape to Malfoy Manor.

He got out his map to make sure to avoid Filch and then he saw it. Draco was walking from the main entrance towards the dungeons. Mrs. Malfoy, escorted by Filch was walking towards the headmaster's office. Harry's heart was pounding fast and he couldn't think of anything other than getting to Draco right then. He ran as fast as he could trying to catch up to him, before he got into his dorm.

Draco was walking slowly almost shuffling and Harry was hoping it was because he was tired and not because he was in pain. Harry took the stairs down three at a time, but he still missed Draco by a few minutes. Harry was at the top of the stairs that lead to the dungeons when he saw Malfoy's dot enter the Slytherin dorm. He leaned his back against the wall to catch his breath and tried to reassure himself that Draco was in the school therefore he must have been okay. After a he had successfully calmed himself down he turned to go back to his dorm, but quickly ran into Mrs. Malfoy on her way toward the dungeon.

"Out so late?" Draco's mother looked down her nose at him.

He did not flinch and glared right back at her. "Maybe I'm up early?"

"And yet so far from where you belong," she observed.

"I'm on my way to the library…" he smoothly lied. She raised an eyebrow at him as she studied his attire and lack of anything that resemble school supplies.

"With no books or supplies?" She countered. Had he any understanding of pure bloods or even learned anything from his encounters with Draco. Then would have realized that she was testing him. He might also of realized that she was suddenly interested in him. On any other occasion she would have walked passed and not given him a second glance.

"I figured there would be plenty of books in the library."

She smirked at that then slightly nodded towards him before she carried on her way. Harry being the Gryffindor that he is automatically assumed that she was trying to be condescending and make him feel inadequate. What unnerved him was that it generally worked, especially when Draco did it.

Harry continued on to his dorm and tried to get at least a couple hours of sleep before he had to face the day. Yet his curiosity was plaguing him. Why was she going into the dungeon and what was that smirking all about anyway? He never did get to sleep before Ron 'woke' him for breakfast. Draco was late and Harry nervous the entire time as he tried to avoid questions from both his friends. Once Draco arrived he could finally relax seeing that nothing had happened to him. Though it was not one of the days that they would normally meet up and Harry could not wait till the next night to confront him.

So as they passed each other on the way to class Harry deliberately bumped into him and slipped a note into his hand. Draco as Harry had expected played it perfecting insulting him and his clumsiness as he would have any other day. It made him smile to himself knowing it was an act until reality had sunk in and he remembered that Draco was faking his relationship with him. Though they did have their moments Draco still really felt that Harry was a clumsy idiot. He fiddled with the ring that he had in his pocket, the one that Hermione unsuccessfully tried to talk him out of buying.

He had not even come to the decision on whether or not he was actually going to give it to him. It was supposed to be his Christmas present, but Draco had not gotten anything for Harry. So he wouldn't feel put out if Harry in the end had decided not to get anything for him. At least he hoped.

Harry got to the room early and was pacing once Draco finally showed up. He didn't wait for Draco to even say 'hi' before he claimed his mouth in a possessive kiss. It shocked Draco and knocked the breath out of him. He actually thought he might pass out from the lack of oxygen when Harry finally pulled back to speak.

"Don't you ever do that to me again," Harry said before he resumed his assault with his mouth. "I was so worried about you. You could've owled me or something."

"You wouldn't have thought my owl was plan from the Dark Lord?" Draco said curiously.

Harry relaxed a little and laughed at that. "Yea, I probably would have." He pulled Draco into a hug until Draco was relaxing into him. "I've missed you."

"Me too." Draco pulled back and led Harry to the bed. "I've been thinking." He started. "You can blame it all on Christmas."

They both laughed. Harry had already blamed a lot on Christmas that year, but he wasn't going to tell Draco that.

"I wanted to get you something."

"You don't need…"

Draco raised his hand stopping Harry from continuing. "Need to, yea, I know." He said patiently, which made Harry smiled. He had never seen Draco ever be patient with someone. He was normally irritated with everyone around him. "I was thinking about what we talked about with the material and non material things and there is nothing material that I could think of that would really mean anything to you."

Harry could think of one, since it was at that moment in his pocket. Even that really was only something he wanted because of the nonmaterial aspect of it. What the ring would symbolize as oppose to the ring itself.

"You've given me a lot and I hadn't even realized it until you weren't there everyday," Draco continued. "So I decided there was something I wanted to give you…" He paused rethinking his words. "Well, more something that I wanted to do with you." Draco pushed Harry down on his back in the middle of the bed then threw Draco through his leg over Harry to straddle him. "I spend almost the entire break reading up on…" Draco twisted his hand in the air to indicate that he hoped Harry would catch on to what he was trying to say. So that he did not actually have to voice what he had been reading about constantly since he came to the decision that he wanted to have sex with Harry. Harry continued to stare at him blankly and Draco huffed in frustration.

"What?" Harry asked confused and Draco tried not to laugh at his innocent stare.

"You know," Draco said as he smiled down at him then slightly grinded against him. "This…" The movement caught Harry's attention and he realized what Draco meant which caused Harry to freeze stunned by the offer.

"Are you sure?" Harry definitely wanted to do it. He had thought about it for ages, but he did not want to push Draco into doing something he didn't want to. Since Voldemort was the only reason Draco was even in a relationship with him, he wanted to make sure anything they did Draco really wanted.

"Of course I'm sure," Draco smirked. "It's all I've thought about for a week." He leaned down and started to kiss Harry. "I've read every book I could find and learned every spell that we could possibly need."

'He researched it?' Harry thought then had to ask even though it would only make sense, if he felt he needed to read about it. "You're a virgin?"

Draco paled before he whispered, "Are you?"

Harry could feel him tense up which made him realize how much this meant to Draco and what he was actually trying to give him. "Yea, of course. Yes, I just didn't think you were," Harry stammered and watched Draco relax slightly. "What spells did you learn?"

Draco's smirk returned before he flicked his wand and Harry was naked.

"Hey what about you?" With another flick Draco was bottomless, but left his shirt on. He had yet to let Harry even unbutton it. They leaned into each other and continued kissing as Harry let his hand run up and down Draco's thighs.

"This is big thing, you know," Draco said nervously. He wanted to make sure Harry understood what this meant for them and for him. That it was a big step and it was going to make them real. It wasn't a game anymore and certainly wasn't a mission to Draco any longer. Harry actually cared about him in a way that very few people did. Draco might not have loved him, but he wasn't going to give up on someone that loved him for who he was. It had gotten to the point that he felt more himself with Harry then at any other time.

"Yes, but I want to. I want to do this with you." Harry rubbed Draco's arm absently trying to get him to calm down. Draco could feel his shirt rubbing gently against his Dark Mark it burned slightly with the contact.

"Listen I need…" he did not get to say the 'to tell you something' before Harry groaned and rubbed his face.

"Don't do this. Please," Harry said. "Not again", he mumbled into his hands.

Draco pretended to not hear that part.

"I really want this." Harry said frustrated, because Draco had just talked him into it. Then was going to try and ruin it by telling him, yet again, the one thing that he shouldn't. "Can we talk about it after?"

Draco nodded with a confused look but then grinded himself against Harry before kissing him.

"Take off your shirt." Harry said as he started to unbutton it. Harry would see his mark, but he wanted to tell him and it would give him the opening to it. Harry pulled the shirt off his shoulders and let it fall down Draco's arms. The mark was still hidden. Draco wanted Harry to take it off, so he let it hang there even though it restricted his movements. "You're so beautiful," Harry whispered as he trailed his hands over Draco's chest.

"You've told me." Draco replied with a smirk, it didn't matter how many times Harry said it. Draco really liked hearing it. Harry, without taking his eyes off of Draco's like they were having a contest to see who would look away first, slowly finished removing Draco's shirt. Even then neither of them looked away from the other's face.

Draco's breathing became fast and labored as if he was about to panic. Harry cupped his face and dragged his thumb across his lips before he pulled him down to kiss him again.

"Are you not going to say anything?" Draco added after he pulled back.

"I already knew." Harry began to explain before Draco could start questioning him about it. "I'm not an idiot Draco. What else was Voldemort suppose to do after he lost some of his Death Eaters to Azkaban?"

Harry watched Draco face as he considered that.

"He had to recruit someone and really I can't think of anyone else that would have been better."

Draco pulled back abruptly, "What?" He asked angrily. "Is that supposed to mean?" Harry taken back at Draco's response, he had not meant it in a bad way. It was supposed to be a compliment. It meant that Draco was smart and talented, though Harry had not thought if it that way before. He had always been worried about what Draco was up to even when he was against him because he did believe that he would accomplish it. "You think I went running to him? That I was eager to do this and put whatever he says above my own life?"

Harry didn't respond only waited for Draco to continue his rant that he knew he would. Harry had picked up little things like that, which made their relationship seem so real. Like that Draco liked to rant. Even about trivial things just to get it out of his system. During the rants he would say some pretty harsh things, but after he calmed down he retracted most of them, even more than that though. Harry had notice even when it seemed that Draco was yelling at him, like he was at that moment, it was more that Draco was angry with himself. Maybe that was how it happened and he did ask to join Voldemort, but Harry would never know for sure. What he knew was that Draco did not like it then. After Draco finished going on about 'evil manipulative dictators' and 'over controlling fathers,' then continued on about 'defenseless mothers' and 'clueless friends,' he finally calmed down and let Harry just hold him.

Had he been anyone else he would have apologized, but Harry knew that Draco wasn't going to do that. Harry also did not need him to. Harry knew that it was not his fault and that Draco knew that as well, even if he liked to blame things on other people. Harry looked around for his clothes so that he could get Draco's present from his pocket. It was the only way to get out of the situation as he saw it. He Accio'd the box and kissed Draco's head to get his attention. Draco sat back up, still on Harry's lap as he noticed the box in Harry's hand.

"So I did get you Christmas present," Harry started. "It just took me a while to find it."

Draco could tell without opening the box what it was and fear crossed his features, but Harry stopped him before he tried to speak.

"Relax, I'm not asking you to marry me or anything…" Harry laughed as Draco did relax and forced a slight smile. "It just considering…" Harry tilted his head towards the mark but make a point to not look at it. "I've been worried about you… about you being save. So, I was looking up protection charms and I found one that works on jewelry."

Draco took the box then more curious as to what the ring looked like then what it might have meant. "I didn't see you as much of a necklace or bracelet guy, but I figured everyone wears rings… so you could just say your mother gave it to you or something."

Draco slowly opened the box to reveal a thick white gold band with a dragon carved into it. He held back a laugh remembering the awkward conversation he and Harry had about the dragons. As he was inspecting the ring he noticed that Harry had been paying attention and it was an arctic dragon. Or it just happened to be a happy accident; since other than they are white there are very subtle differences that most people would never notice. Draco put it on his right hand and felt a slight wave of warmth flow through his body. He wondered if he would always feel warmer with it on or if it was just his imagination.

"Shh…" Harry said when Draco opened his mouth to speak and then was kissing him. For a moment Draco was going to protest. Harry was always doing that and it made it impossible to have serious conversations with him. "You were going to show me everything you learned remember?"

"Yes." He remembered, he was just a bit nervous about it and things kept coming up. "Just sit there."

"I am," Harry teased while Draco attempted to gather his thoughts. Harry pressed against him and moaned. "Draco…" in a way that was almost begging and got Draco hard again in seconds Harry was already, though Draco was not sure if that was still or happened again once they had started talking about sex. He had not been paying close enough attention with everything that was happening. Either way he decided that he had teased Harry enough and started to whisper the spells he learned. He wanted to be on top so that he could control everything. The books had given him many different tips and having the other person in control the first time had been one of them, but Harry had never… He trusted Harry, but that did not mean he would not unintentionally hurt him.

All the spells he used were on himself, so Harry really was not going to be able to tell that he was doing anything anyway. He could tell that they helped… a lot. He had used a toy to practice and everything, because he did not want to have to stop in the middle because of pain. He was positive he was ready for it, but he still started with kissing Harry to distract himself. That was one of the tips to continue kissing through the entire thing (if it is possible) to keep your mind of the pain. It in conjunction with the spells it worked perfectly. He hardly felt any pain as he slowly guided himself down on Harry. Draco went slowly up and down and though it took him a while he finally found the spot he wanted. Then he could concentrate on Harry's reaction.

Harry was silent and that worried Draco. His face was completely unreadable, and Draco couldn't tell if he was in pleasure, pain or just simple bored. His eyes were closed and whenever Draco kissed him he responded just like he always had before. Harry didn't move a muscle and let Draco move at whatever pace was the most comfortable for him.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked him afraid that Harry was in pain or hating it.

Harry opened his eyes to read Draco's expression then tried to respond. "Yes," he choked out, before he pulled Draco into a fierce kiss and came with a moan. "Fuck, yes. I love you." He repeated a couple of times before he pulled back and rested against the pillows again. "Damn." Harry shook his head at himself. "I was trying not to…"

Draco nodded with relief and kissed him to stop him from explaining farther. They repositioned so that they were both lying down with Draco's head on Harry's chest as Harry played with Draco's hair and Draco played with his new ring.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I still enjoyed it," Draco assured him.

"It's still not the same."

Draco just shrugged. He didn't care that he had not come he was still happy. He almost voiced that, but stopped as he mulled over the fact that he was happy. When was the last time he could have said that? Never. It occurred to him that he had never truly been happy. It was why he failed to ever cast a patronous, not because he lacked skill, but because he had nothing happy to think about. He might have started to cry at that, but Harry shifting underneath him pulled him from his thoughts.

"What're you doing?"

"Just relax…" Harry said in between kissing down Draco's chest and pushing him to his back.

"Harry, you don't…"

"I want to," Harry interrupted him and continued on his way. Draco was tense. Harry hadn't realized that he had hurt Draco so badly with that one experience that he was afraid of oral on all fronts. That seemed to be the case and Harry was determined to change that. Not that he would ever ask Draco to do that for him again. He just wanted to make Draco come. Which did not turn out to be that difficult of a task. After all of their previous activity Draco was fully teased and didn't last more than seven minutes after Harry started. Draco even called Harry's name as he came, which Harry could not stop smiling about.


	7. Harry is hiding something

"Mate?" Ron asked with concern in his voice. "You alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" Harry asked only half paying attention with a smile that would not go away no matter how hard he tried.

"You're smiling," Ron said as he shared a look with Hermione.

"Isn't that normally a good thing?" Harry laughed at his friend's expressions as he finally looked at them instead of slightly past them.

"Who were you looking at?" Hermione was always more one for the direct approach.

"No one… why would I be looking at someone?" Harry asked her as he turned back to his meal.

"You've just seemed a little distracted lately." She explained whilst watching him curiously.

"And that means I have to be interested in someone?"

"No," Hermione agreed. "It doesn't, but the smile that you've been wearing constantly would generally mean that someone thing or someone good happened." Harry laughed at her choice of words, yes 'someone good' happened. He wondered if everyone found sexual things in everything others said after they finally had sex. He bit his lip after she glared at him, but shrugged his shoulders instead of answering her. "Why is it such a big deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why can't you just tell us who you're seeing?" Hermione responded irritably. "I mean we already know it's a boy."

"Shh, just because I let you know doesn't mean I want the whole school to know," Harry whispered. "Besides, I never said I was seeing anyone."

"So you bought a ring for yourself?" She challenged him.

He nodded.

"Really then where is it?" She looked back and forth between both his hands to find nothing. "A ring as expensive as that and you don't even wear it?"

"You bought some bloke an expensive ring?" Ron looked at Harry stunned as he finally caught on to what they were talking about. Ron then turned to Hermione. "How expensive." She opened her mouth to answer, but Harry cut her off.

"That doesn't matter," Harry told them sternly. "I'm just not ready to let anyone know yet."

"Not even us?" Ron squealed.

"I don't think you're really ready to accept it yet. Just give me some time."

"Okay," Hermione finally backed off, but Ron looked just as upset as before. "You're really serious with this guy then?"

"I'm in love with him," Harry kept his voice low, but not to a whisper.

Hermione answered with a forced smile.

Since they knew that Harry was actually seeing someone, they finally noticed how much he actually saw of him. Harry and Draco met at least every other night since after the holidays. The more time that past the earlier that Harry would leave them in the evenings. To make things worse she swore she saw the ring Harry bought on a certain Death Eater's son during their potions class. Two months went past and Hermione's curiously could not take it any longer. Just after Harry left the common room she got up to follow him.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked her and he closed his book.

"I'm going to follow Harry." She responded not even slowly down.

"Wait up! I'm coming with," He jumped up from the couch.

"Hurry, or we'll lose him."

"Maybe we should lose him."

She gave him a confused look.

"That way he doesn't notice us following him." He nodded towards the dorm room. She nodded and he ran to grab Harry's invisibility cloak and map from Harry's trunk.

When he got back the found Harry headed towards the seventh floor and they ran to meet up with him there. They were out of breath when they got there and quickly threw the cloak over both of them. When Harry opened the door to go in the room Ron put his foot in the door so that it wouldn't close. There was already someone there and they imminently started talking. Which was lucky for Ron and Hermione or they would not have been able to get by Harry unnoticed.

"Did you leave the door opened?" They heard a familiar voice ask. Harry turned and looked at it in confusion and then went to close it.

"I thought I had, sorry." Harry mumbled and then climbed on the bed. "I must have forgot after I saw you."

He blushed and Draco rolled his eyes. Ron and Hermione got closer and came almost to the foot of the bed. Hermione's suspicions were confirmed and she bit her lip to remain silent. She did not, however, plan on Ron gasping when he saw Draco kiss Harry. She quickly threw her hand over his mouth and pulled him back and to the ground by the couch. He glared at her, but she just put a finger to her lips indicating that they should remain hidden and not let Harry know they were spying on him. Ron, however, wanted to rip off the cloak and scream at his best mate.

"Did you hear something?" Draco asked as he eyed the area that Ron and Hermione had previously been. Harry had been too caught up in snogging Draco to notice anything and he just shook his head. Hermione and Ron held their breath as Draco looked around the room, and then smirked, before he started to kiss Harry again. "Mmmm, I want you so bad." Draco moaned.

"Really?" Harry asked in between kissing his neck and nibbling on his ear.

"Yes, I want you inside me." Draco stated and then pushed Harry back against the bed. The way they were sitting made Harry diagonal on the bed, but Draco stopped him when he went to straighten himself out and lean against the pillows. "No, stay just like that," Draco ordered. "And don't move." Then he climbed on top of Harry.

"Okay," Harry laughed at his suddenly dominant boyfriend. They had not had sex since their first time. Harry did not want to push Draco farther than he was ready to go and just because they had done it once did not mean that he was comfortable doing it as a regular thing. Harry was perfectly fine with just doing what they had done before.

Draco started to kiss down Harry's body and even went down as far as Harry's hips. That startled him a bit; Draco never went down there. Harry had for Draco quite a bit in the last two months but he never made any mention of him wanting Draco to reciprocate. "What are you doing?" Harry asked as he tried not to sound nervous.

"Shh, just relax," Draco said sweetly and then continued with what he was doing. Draco was only trying to get Harry excited, not that it would take much, and he wasn't planning on spending much time down there. Though the look of astonishment on Harry's face was really worth it to Draco. He barley put the tip of it in his mouth and swarled his tongue around a couple of times. Quickly after Harry was ready Draco went back to straddling him and then began to whisper the spells that Harry had only heard the once before.

Harry knew of course that they would eventually do it again, but he had not expected it to happened so spur of the moment and unplanned. They had learned from the last time that it was easier on Draco if he was distracted and already hard before they began. Harry noticed that Draco wasn't so he slid down a little and pulled Draco to his mouth, which threw Draco off balance for a second, and he had to grab on to Harry's head and the headboard to balance gain his balance.

Meanwhile, Ron once again almost burst out from under the cloak as Hermione had been trying to get him to the door. It had not occurred to her that Harry would have been that intimate with his boyfriend. She had not planned nor had she wanted to see all of that. They were having a heated argument through gestures under the cloak. Where Ron wanted to stop them immediately and confront Harry and Hermione wanted them both to leave. Hermione eventually won and they were trying to make their way to the door as quietly as possible. Though with all the noise Draco was making they really had no reason to be quiet any longer.

"Oh Harry," Draco moaned loudly. Even he knew he was over doing it a bit, but Harry did not seem to notice it. In fact, Draco rather liked Harry's reaction to it. "Yes, yes…." Harry had hardly moved at all the last time and Draco was grateful for that at the time, but with Draco's constant encouragement Harry was doing most of the work that time. Even though just like the time before Draco was on top of Harry after Draco had started to move freely Harry joined him meeting him in the middle with thrusts of his own. Draco ended up bracing himself and letting Harry do all the movement from underneath him. Once Harry found a rhythm Draco found it increasingly easier to overdo his moans.

"Where did this come from all of a sudden?" Harry managed to say in the middle of everything. Draco had always known he was possessive. Once he realized they were being watched he just wanted who ever it was to know that Harry was his and to stay away. Whoever they were had Harry invisibility cloak and therefore must have been rather close to Harry. Draco decided that if they were going to perv and watch then he was going make sure they knew how happy Harry was with him. But Draco really did not want to tell Harry any of those things at that moment.

It more likely the fact they were in the middle of having sex and not so much the question that had Draco answer, "I love you," before he claimed Harry's stunned mouth in a kiss that caused them both to climax.

Hearing those words changes things. Draco knew that from when he heard them from Harry before, but he wasn't prepared for Harry's reaction. He knew that it would make him happy, but he had never thought of Harry as a mushy clingy person. That is exactly what he became right after when Draco laid next to him on the bed.

"I love you, Draco," Harry said as he started to roam his body and kiss every part of it. Then he kept repeating it over and over again. Like Harry had wanted to say it much more than he already had, but had been holding back. Having Draco say it opened a floodgate and it was all Harry wanted to say.

"Stop it!" Hermione said to Ron after she had struggled him away from the door and shut it again. As it disappeared she sighed in relief.

"How could you just walk away?" Ron tried to yell and whisper at the same time. "That sneaking slimy ferret, he probably snuck Harry some sort of potion." He fumed as he kicked at the wall. "He probably wasn't really bent to begin with."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him and started to walk a way with the cloak.

"Hey!"

"Shhh…" she hissed. "I'm not going to stand here and listen to this."

"You knew," he accused as they got back underneath Harry's cloak.

"I suspected," Hermione clarified. "We already knew he was with someone. He still felt he needed to keep it secret. So, obviously it was going to be someone he thought we would not approve of." Ron grumbled incoherently as they walked back to Gryffindor tower.

"I still don't trust the ferret," he said once they got back and retook their places by the fire. "Do you hear what he said when we were leaving?"

"Yes," she said exasperatedly.

"As if he could ever love anyone," Ron growled. "He's too in love with himself."

"Oh, please. You can't actually believe that."

"Of course I do!" Ron was stunned that she would not agree with him on this. "How can you not?"

"Everyone is capable of love Ron."

"Hermione, do you somehow miss the mark that was clearly on his arm?"

"Of course not," Hermione glared at him. "Do you think that Harry is so blind that even with it two inches from his face he could not see it?"

Ron just crossed his arms, but did not answer. Obviously, Harry would be aware of it. Draco had probably given him some sob story about how he was forced into it.

"And you are not going to say anything about this to Harry."

"Why not?" Ron whined.

"He'll tell us when he's ready…" Hermione tried to stay positive as she said it, but the worry was evident in her voice.

"Then why did you go spy on him in the first place, if it wasn't going to change anything?" Ron asked in confusion.

"I was curious." Ron shook his head at her, but silently then agreed to not say anything to Harry when Hermione glared at him.

Draco was scared, which was not an entirely uncommon feeling for him. Though he normally was afraid for his life and not from trivial things like emotions. He had never told anyone he loved them before aside from his parents. Therefore, he did not really know what it felt like to be in love and he had just got caught up in the moment. It was not really a lie… okay so he lied. Draco could reluctantly admit it to himself that Harry was starting to have an impact on him. He did care more about Harry than any of his other friends. He hated or merely tolerated all his other friends, so that was not really saying much.

He did look forward to spending time with him and enjoyed it. He even liked the sex. Okay, he loved the sex. That did not mean that he was in love with him and before he blurted out the statement had not thought it through. This was going to change their relationship. There was no way he could convince Harry to not come try to rescue him, if he thought Draco loved him. Draco was going to have to break his heart, but then he would fail his mission.

"Draco?" Harry asked pulling Draco from his thoughts. "I've been thinking… that I should tell my friends about us." He finished in a mumble.

"Why?" Draco shot straight up and pulled away from Harry.

"Look, over Christmas I told them that I was gay and they've figured out that I'm seeing someone," Harry started to explain. "I know you don't want people to know, but they won't tell anyone."

"So?" Draco shrieked. "As much as it pains me to admit this your friends qualify as 'people'."

"Draco," Harry said sternly. Draco had not really insulted anyone in so long Harry also forgot who he was dealing with. Draco just starred in defiance. "I know that, but I told them that I would tell them when I felt comfortable."

"Once again, so?" Harry tried to pull Draco back down beside him, but Draco pulled his wrist free.

"And now I'm comfortable telling them," Harry said. "Come on, Draco."

Draco closed his eyes upon hearing his name. It made him feel strange when Harry said it. It was kind of a warm feeling and something he had never felt before.

"You just said you loved me. You can't possible still be uncomfortable about being with me." Harry pulled Draco towards him again and this time Draco offered no resistance even when Harry gave him a few small kisses on his mouth.

"No, I'm definitely comfortable being with you," Draco assured him.

"So, I can tell them?" Harry asked hopefully.

"You really wouldn't if I said no?"

"Of course not," Harry insisted. "This is our relationship." Then Harry smiled almost to himself. "I've really enjoyed having this be just us, but I can't lie to my friends forever."

"You think we'd last that long?"

"I know that I don't want this to end." Harry ignored his tone too used to Draco defensive mechanisms to have it bother him anymore.

Draco thought about what Harry said before he answered. "I don't want it to end either." He was being completely honest, which was something he did not do, even with himself, often enough for it not to scare him a little. He sighed and looked up into Harry's eyes. "I think we've already told them anyway…" Draco did not know why he was about to confess to this, but he couldn't back out after saying that.

"Huh?"

"How many people have access to your invisibility cloak?"

Harry was confused by the question, but answered it anyway. "Um, I suppose anyone in my dorm room, but Ron and Hermione are the only ones that know about it."

"Well, there goes my theory on it being the Weaselette," Draco muttered.

"What are you talking about?"

Draco shrugged. "I thought your little girlfriend would be the only one interested in spying on you." When Harry still looked confused Draco rolled his eyes and continued. "You remember when I said I thought I heard something earlier?"

Harry nodded.

"Well, I'm rather certain that someone was invisible around that vicinity." Draco pointed to where Ron and Hermione had been hiding. Harry was looking at him stunned and then it clicked into place.

"Someone was spying on us and you decided to have sex with me!" Harry sat up right forcing Draco to do the same.

"You are mine and wanted to make sure they understood that!" Draco folded his arms across his chest and pouted, only without sticking his lip out like some little girl.

Harry looked at him scrutinizing and then proceeded to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"I never knew you were so possessive…" Harry shook his head at him. "Even to the point of letting some random person watch me come in your arse to prove that we are together." Harry leaned over and kissed Draco's shocked mouth. He had not thought of it that way when he was doing it.

"I'm sure it was one of your friends," Draco insisted. "I don't know of anyone else that has an invisibility cloak."

"Oh and you know everything about everyone in the entire school," Harry mocked him. "Really, you, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore and I'm pretty sure Snape has figured it out, are the only ones that know I have one. Anyone could have one."

"They're extremely rare, Potter," Draco glared. "I doubt many parents would let their children have one. I'm sure the only reason you do is because..." Draco closed his mouth and looked away.

"I'd prefer to have my parents than the things that they left behind for me," Harry said angrily.

"I'd prefer the cloak," Draco mumbled and Harry's anger faded.

"Don't say that. You love your parents."

Draco shrugged and Harry pulled him back down to lay his head on Harry's chest.

"You don't mean that." Harry insisted, though had they only been talking about Draco's father he could not be so sure that Draco did not mean it. He did not know what else to say, "I love you."

"You know, my father has never said that to me," Harry squeezed Draco tighter. "At least, you know your parents loved you." Harry lightly stroked Draco back while Draco ran his fingers up and down Harry's treasure trail. "So, what are you going to say to your friends?" Draco did not really like talking about himself especially when it was real. That was something else that kept happening frequently around Harry.

"Well, if you're right after I find out whether or not they were spying on us. I might not have to say much."

Draco smirked and glared back down at him.

"I'll just tell them the truth and hope they take it well."

"Do you want me to be there?" Harry honestly had not even thought about it and that showed on his face as he was considering the answer. "I mean this is our relationship right?"

"Right."


	8. Fighting

Harry was positive that Draco was right about his friends spying on them the very next day. Neither of them seemed to be able to look him in the eye and all through breakfast Hermione was very interested in her food. She even dogged a question Harry had about schoolwork that he knew she had read at least three books on. Had he not suspected them of spying then he would have though she was just bother by something Ron had did or said, but he knew better.

"So," Harry tried nonchalantly, "what did you two do last night?"

Ron paled and Hermione shouted, "Nothing!"

Harry rolled his eyes and smirked as he looked back and forth between them. Hermione had turned red from her loud out burst, but Ron was still frozen in place. Harry sighed and decided to just get it over with.

"He heard you, you know."

Hermione's head shot up, "What?"

"You knew we were there?" Ron asked, suddenly regaining his composure and remembering his anger about the whole situation.

"No, I didn't," Harry shot back angrily, "You think I would have let you see…" he took a breath to calm himself down and simply repeated, "No, I didn't."

"But he did?" Hermione clarified.

"He didn't know it was you two, but he suspected someone was lurking." Harry laughed at the memory, and then thought about how cute Draco looked when he was being insecure and possessive. "He thought it was some girl that had a crush on me."

"That just happened to have an invisibility cloak?"

Harry shrugged. He wasn't going to tell them that Draco had specifically thought Ginny was the one spying on him.

Ron grit his teeth, "I can't believe… out of all the people… why him?"

"Ron…" Hermione warned.

"I'm sorry," Harry started. "It's a long story and a bit difficult to explain here." He gestured to the mass of people that surrounded them at the moment. Hermione rolled her eyes and whispered 'Muffliato' then motioned Harry to continue.

"Fine, the short story is that he told me he fancied me and we started dating about a month or two before Christmas."

"What's the long story?" Ron asked not willing to accept Harry's answer, "and why would you date him anyway?"

Harry chewed his lip then nodded they deserved to know after everything they've gone through for him. "Voldemort gave him a mission to 'seduce' me and he came to me for help instead of actually attempting it." His friends shared a confused look as Harry continued, "He doesn't know about that last part though, because the help he wanted was for me to oblivate him of all knowledge that he told me and stop him from fulfilling his mission."

"Then why are you dating him if he wanted you to stop him?" Ron glared still obviously not pleased with what Harry was saying.

"Yea, Harry that doesn't make any sense and why would Voldemort ask Draco to do that anyway?"

"Voldemort can get into my head remember… he knew… and then."

"Knew what?" Ron asked.

Harry buried his face in his hands before he began mumbling again, "What do you think he knew?"

"Are you saying that you fancied Malfoy before all of this?" Ron sat back and waited, but Hermione reached across the table and put a reassuring hand on Harry's arm.

"Harry it's okay…"

Harry's head shot up. "No, it's not. It's completely messed up."

"I'd say," Ron agreed.

"He came to me for help, because he didn't want to do it. He let me oblivate him. I should have gone to Dumbledore and instead I used it against him and gave Voldemort just want he wanted." It's funny how he could find ways to justify everything to himself, but the second he had to actually explain the situation out loud the reality of it hit him. Voldemort had won. Draco's mission was a success, because even if there was a slight chance that Draco might get hurt then Harry would do whatever it took to stop it from happening.

"Maybe we can go to Dumbledore now and he could think of something… how was he planning on using this against you anyway?"

"He's planning on 'kidnapping' Draco and then killing me when I go to rescue him."

"Well that's simple then," Ron said. "Don't go rescue him."

Harry was stunned by Ron's callous unfeeling words, "What if he does kill him?"

Hermione grabbed Harry's hand and glared at Ron. "Maybe we can keep Draco from returning to him… then he won't be able to 'kidnap' him."

"I've thought about that and he knows that I know he's a death eater, but he says he doesn't want to be… but,"

"You don't know if he is just saying that or it's the truth," Hermione interrupted.

Harry nodded.

"He is just using you for his mission." Ron insisted, "What has he done that makes you think he has changed?"

"I'd have thought you'd see that?" Harry said with anger clearly in his voice; they both had the decency to look embarrassed again. Harry had no idea how much they had actually seen, but they both seemed embarrassed enough about it that he assumed it was quite a bit.

"Yea, well I guess all I saw was a Death Eater that was willing to be your whore to get what he wants," Ron spat out before he got up and stormed away from the table before either of his friends could stop him. Harry sat up ready to follow him fuming about what his best friend just called his boyfriend, especially since it brought to mind rather unpleasant memories from their first few weeks together. Hermione grabbed his arm again pulling him back to his seat.

"Clam down Harry, you know how he is when anything new happens. He just needs time to realize that he is acting like a child and then he'll apologize." Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath when he opened them again he noticed Draco starring at him with a concerned looked. He was glad that Draco wasn't there to hear how that conversation went, not that he could have been since he told his friends everything and was still keeping Draco in the dark.

Harry decided that he wasn't going to go to Dumbledore just yet and was going to continue things with Draco as they were. He wanted to convince Draco to switch sides and if Draco had been telling the truth at all about his feelings then it shouldn't be too difficult. After dinner he searched his map until he found the familiar dot label 'Draco Malfoy' in the prefects bathroom. He got the password from Ron at the beginning of the year so he would have no trouble getting in.

He snuck up behind Draco slowly and silently taking off his clothes. "Hello love," he whispered startling Draco as he slipped into the water behind him.

Draco spun around quickly, "What are you doing here?"

"I missed you," he said as he grabbed Draco's legs and pulled him onto his lap nibbled at his collar bone then up his neck to lick the shell of his ear.

Draco smirked, "I can see that… or feel that rather." Draco claimed Harry's mouth in a kiss whilst Harry roamed Draco's body with his hands pulling him closer and holding him as tight as breathing would allow. "How did they take the news?  
"Ron is pissed and Hermione is being supportive."

"So as to be expected then?" Draco teased, "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Harry dragged his hands down Draco arms and let his thumb run over Draco's mark, but he didn't say anything about it nor did Draco, though he flinched. "I just hate fighting."

"You're the one that wanted to tell them."

"Well, I also hate lying."

Draco smirked, "That's only because you are so bad at it."

"You'd be surprised," Harry smirked back.

"You're joking. Please, you're guilt is written all over your face when you lie."

"Really?"

"Of course," Draco pulled Harry into another kiss.

As Harry thought about it Draco was partly right. If he had to out right lie it was written all over him. He felt too guilty and he was never good at hiding his emotions, but the lies he was telling Draco… well, they are a lot easier to do. He didn't have to say anything he just had to keep Draco from saying anything.

Draco pulled back, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"No, there's something." Draco searched his face looking for clues. "You got all tense and quiet."

"I'm always quiet…" he couldn't really deny that he was tense, but anyone would be with the way Draco was scrutinizing him then and what he had been thinking about prior. The whole situation made him nervous.

"Did something else happen that you're not telling me about?"

"No," Harry said far too quickly.

"There is," Draco rolled his eyes, "What is it?"

Harry shook his head.

"The Weasel said something, what is it?"

"Hey don't call him that." Draco had done well, not bad mouthing anyone around Harry, for the longest time. He suspected that Draco reverted back to his old self the second he was away from Harry, though he had seen no proof of it since Christmas. Even then Draco said 'weasel' as if it was actually his name and without any real malice behind it, but it still bothered Harry.

"Sorry," though it was obvious that he wasn't sorry at all. "But, you didn't deny it… what did he say?" Draco's tone was warm not pleading or whiney. Harry still remained silent and kept his gaze anywhere except Draco's face, so Draco pressed closer and leaned in to kiss Harry lightly behind his ear. "What? You don't trust me?" He tried to tease.

"He doesn't trust you," Harry said it without thinking. Of course, it was normal for Ron to be weary of Draco, but as Draco had said Harry is a crap liar and he would have to tell him what Ron really accused him of.

"What? He thinks I'm after you for your name or money?" Draco laughed at the thought then leaned against Harry's shoulder, but Harry didn't move which made it obvious that wasn't it. Draco became somber once again, "Are you going to tell me?"

"He thinks that you're lying to me."

"About what?"

"He says that you're working for Voldemort and are just trying to help him find a way to kill me." They were both tense and quiet.

After a beat Draco started, "Harry… I…"

"I know."

"No, you don't."

"No, I do." Draco pulled back to give Harry a puzzled look. "I know about your mission." Harry attempted to pull Draco back, but he pushed himself off of Harry's lap and backwards into the water. He reemerged in the middle of the pool.

"How long have you known?"

"The whole time."

"The whole time? Then?" Draco seemed to be at a loss for words as he tried to find the right questions to ask Harry slowly approached him. "How did you know? Why are we here? And why?" Draco looked down at the ring Harry had given him, but made no attempt to take it off.

"You told me… and because I love you." Harry put his arms around Draco only to have Draco shove him away.

"But you knew that I didn't love you!"

"Not at first yea, but…"

"Harry I don't love you!" Draco swam to the edge and got out quickly drying himself off. Harry was only stunned for a second before following Draco and doing the same.

"Don't say that, you don't really mean that."

"How would you know? You don't know anything about me!" Draco fumbled with his clothing and Harry grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. He almost responded and his lower body did, but he pushed Harry away nonetheless. "That doesn't mean anything. We were just having sex."

"You lost your virginity to me. No one does that without some sort of feelings!"

"That doesn't mean that I love you!" Harry turned and started to pull on his own clothes as Draco fumbled with his buttons. "How come I don't remember telling you about my mission?" Then before Harry could even answered he figured it out and changed his question. "Was that the only time?"

"What?" Harry stopped putting on his clothes and instead starred at Draco who had finished dressing except for his outer robe.

"Was that the only memory you took from me?"

Harry hesitated, "No."

"I want them back."

"What, Now?" Harry asked angrily.

"Can you?

"I don't do magic that I can't reverse."

Draco walked over to Harry and folded his arms across his chest, "Then yes now." Harry was more nervous than angry then, but nodded his agreement and retrieved his wand from this pile of clothes. He said the spelled and held it as he could see Draco reliving the memories and caught him when he fell from the disorientation that the spelled regularly caused. He lowered Draco to the ground and held him in a sitting position. Once Draco came back to himself they sat there in the quiet as Draco starred off into the distance with a slightly confused look and Harry waited for him to say anything. Afraid that he might have messed something up Harry spoke first breaking Draco's trance like state.

"Are you okay?" It was barely a whisper, but it got Draco's attention and he turned to look at him. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

"Of course you hurt me," Draco responded, "it's all you seem to be able to do." Before Harry knew it Draco was once again on his feet, had grabbed his robe and was headed for the door.

"Wait!" Harry stumbled to gather he clothes and put them on quickly ready to run down the hall after Draco if he had to. "Let me explain."

Draco stopped at the door. "Later, I just need to think. Just let me think, I'll find you if and when I'm ready to talk." He left before Harry could think of a reply though hours later Harry still wasn't sure what he would have said, if he'd had the chance. He kept thinking about how what Draco had said about how Harry always hurt him. He was sure that it had nothing to do with the spell he had cast, but he also couldn't figure out what he meant by it. He would have asked Hermione, but it would have forced him to tell her things that he wasn't really comfortable sharing with her. He could think of a few times that he had actually hurt Draco, but they had all occurred since the mention of the mission. It was all Draco hurting Harry previous to that, or at least he thought.

A full week went by without word from Draco. Or Ron, but Harry was still mad at Ron so that wasn't really bothering him that much. It once again forced Hermione to be in the middle, which she hated, so he was without her as well. It had always been horrible when the fought because not only did he lose Ron, but also Hermione would avoid both of them and then all the stares became that more evident. Then again, it might have been that everyone was staring and talking about him more because they all knew he was fighting with his friends. Plus, he was alone. Without Ron and Hermione, he was always alone. Ron would spend more time with their dorm mates, Seamus and Dean. Hermione would just find Ginny or go study in the library.

"If you don't mind me asking," Neville interrupted his musing. "What happened?" Harry had spent most of his time hiding in the dorm. He would just 'study' all day on his bed, which had brought he attention to the fact that Neville did that as well. It was only a matter of time that Neville would question why his private space was no longer so private. Harry sighed and closed the book he was 'studying.'

"Ron and I had a fight."

Neville chuckled, "So everyone in Hogwarts has observed. I just meant if you wanted to talk about it."

"Thanks… I actually kind of do want to talk about it…"

"Well, I'm rather a good listener… I mean I'm sort of crap a everything else so…"

"Uhm, well…" Harry swallowed, "its sorta hard to explain… what would you do if your best mate started dating someone you hated?"

Neville blushed slightly, "I don't really have a 'best mate' and I don't really hate anyone… but."

"What if they were dating Malfoy?" Harry interrupted.

"Malfoy?" Neville looked confused as Harry prepared himself for 'Why would anyone want to date Malfoy?' but instead Neville said, "Is Hermione dating Malfoy?"

"No, no, its not that and she isn't…"

"That wouldn't make sense," Neville concluded. "That would be a reason for you two to not talk to her, but not Ron and you to stop talking."

"Just, what would you do, if you wanted to… or where… dating someone that your best mate hated… someone _like_ Malfoy?"

"Well, I'd…" Neville seemed lost and Harry sighed before leaning back against he pillows resigning in the fact that it was a hopeless situation. That wasn't what Harry wanted to talk about anyway, what he wanted to talk about was how to Malfoy back.

"Then, what if, you hexed the person you were dating… to protect them," Harry clarified, "but they found out and now they won't talk to you either…"

"What kind of hex?"

Harry winced, "Oblivate."

Neville looked stunned for a minute before he laughed.

"What?"

"It's just that so many people are jealous of you or wish that they could be you, and most people feel sorry for me…" Harry started to counter that, but Neville shook his head in dismissal, "I know they do and so do you, but I am, probably one of the few people, that is actually really glad that I'm not you."

"None of this has anything to do with me being 'the-boy-who-lived.'"

"No, but this is all a part of being you and without any of it you wouldn't be you. No one says they wish they were 'the-boy-who-lived' they say they want to be you, and there is a lot more to you than that scar."

Harry smiled a little at that, "So I take it you don't have any advice?"

"Hey, I said I was a good listener… and not much good at anything else remember." They both laughed at that and though Harry was still in the same situation he did feel a lot better.

"Wait, Harry are you dating Malfoy?"

Harry shrugged, "I was."

The next morning was Saturday and he did not hide in his dorm room. He went to the Great Hall for breakfast and faced all his worse fears. Ron sat with Dean and Seamus as usual and Hermione sat diagonal from Harry, but did not make any move to talk to him. And Draco was there, surrounded by people as usual, ignoring everyone's existence. After Ron left Neville entered and sat next to Harry. He must have been starring at Malfoy though he was too lost in his thoughts to notice until he heard Neville chuckle beside him and saw Hermione give Neville a confused look.

"What?"

Neville shook his head, "It's just this whole you pining over Malfoy… its weird, but sort of funny."

"Pining?" Hermione question.

"We broke up."

"When?" She closed her book and focused on Harry.

"Right after I told you and Ron. I told Draco the truth and he got mad and left."

"Harry, I'm sorry." She said sympathetically, "but why then didn't you tell Ron's all over so you two can quit fighting?"

"Because it's not over Hermione, I'm still in love with him."

"Whoa mate you didn't tell me it was love," Neville broke in.

"If it wasn't would I have bothered telling anyone at all?"

* * *

I know that in the books she made it seem that you can't really reverse an oblivate, but there are other places where they talk about always knowing the counter curse. I think that since technically Lockhart hexed himself that was the reason he couldn't get his memories back. Harry is supposed to know what he is doing in my story so he made sure that he did his research long before the story took place.


	9. Neville

Draco walked back to his room and climbed into his bed. He didn't care what time it was or how odd he might have looked to any of his housemates. He had not lost a lot of time, but just five minutes here and there of conversation with Harry. The first one was obvious and even the reasons behind it. He asked Harry to do it. He had planned it before he had even approached Harry.

"Hey! Potter! Hold on for a second," Draco had yelled after Harry who was walking farther ahead of him.

"About what?"

"About the fact that you think about me when you wank," Draco remembered the satisfaction of saying that to Harry's face, and then what was even better was watching him start to turn red. Harry didn't even bother to deny it just starred at him in shock. If it had been any other situation then Draco would have continued to taunt him, but Draco had told him for a reason and stopped teasing to get to the point.

"Over the summer, the Dark Lord gave me a mission to complete this year. He wants me to seduce you... That way he could 'kidnap' me and get you to try and save me."

"Oh, why are you telling me this?"

"Because, I don't want you to let me."

"Then, why do it?" Draco rolled his eyes at the memory really Harry could be quiet thick.

"Because, he'll kill me!"

"Won't he kill you for warning me?"

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, I want you to obliviate me." Draco watched their conversation so different from the one he remembered having. Of course the other one happened a few minutes later.

"Besides what's the worst you 'd do?" Draco had asked. Really Draco had no idea what Harry had been capable of, though he never expected him to do what he did. He was looking for some clue as to why he did it, but a second later Harry had said 'Oblivate' and they were starting the conversation over again. Having the two memories together only made things more confusing. Harry had agreed to help him and then just went back on it? He was supposed to stay away and not get involved any farther.

Then they were in the room that they had always met in and just finished a long snogging session. Harry was twisting Draco hair in his fingers and Draco had just found out that almost everyone hated him. He remember how much that hurt and how it really surprised him. He had been so sure than no one really cared about him nor ever noticed him other than those who tried to gain power through him and his family.

"Harry?" Draco whispered.

"Yes?"

"Do you think that you could ever love me?" It wasn't that he wanted Harry to learn to love him, but he still wanted to know if he could. He felt the tension in him as he waited for Harry's answer.

"Yea, I think I could." Then Harry was kissing him, "You're really beautiful you know that?" He remembered thinking that it wasn't too late and he could go back to his original plan. Just tell Harry and get out of the mission all together.

"I need to tell you something." He was going to do it, but Draco knew it wasn't going to work. Harry wasn't going to help him. "Voldemort told me to get close to you, so that he could use me as bait to kill you."

"I know, you told me. I'm sorry, but I have to do this." Sorry? He was sorry? He was supposed to stop it not go along with it. He was supposed to be helping Draco not just giving Voldemort what he wanted.

Then it was a couple of weeks later and Draco was straddling Harry on the couch and he was laughing at something Harry was saying about his annoying friends. They had their hands intertwined and Draco leaned forward to kiss Harry. Draco was happy and comfortable and it got him thinking about how it was going to end. He got really quiet and snuggled against Harry's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

"Nothing, it's just." No matter how many times he told himself that it was the only way. That if he didn't do his mission his family and he would be killed, he also thought that if he just told Harry it would be okay. That Harry would find a way to make it better, even if he ended up hating Draco when he found out. "I'm sorry, I've been lying to you."

"Everyone lies sometimes. I probably don't want to even know."

"Voldemort asked me to do this, he's going to try to use me against you." Harry closed his eyes and at the time Draco thought that it was because he was mad. It was strange being able to feel those feelings and yet he current feelings at the same time. He knew that Harry was just frustrated that Draco kept telling him when Harry was trying to keep Draco on the path of fulfilling his mission. Then once again 'oblivate.'

Harry must of let him know because he had some plan to help Draco even through his anger he could see that Harry had, in a way, been trying to help him. He had never been one to forgive easily though so he planned on spending at least a week or two 'thinking' about it. He could also tell that it was driving Harry crazy, which he deserved by the way; he would watch Draco constantly when they were in the same room together, then on the Monday of his second week of him ignoring Harry's existence. Longbottom, of all people, during Herbology, of all places, decided to talk to him.

"You know you could at least tell him its over so he could move on."

"What?" Thankfully none of the other Slytherins decided to continue with Herbology and no one else there ever paid any attention to Draco or Longbottom.

"Harry… you know black hair, green eyes, glasses, scar… your ex."

Draco glared at him and hissed, "He told you."

"It was written all over him actually."

"No, him being a depressed, pathetic loser is written all over him… not his… involvement with… anyone." Draco glanced around just to be sure that no one was actually paying them any attention.

"Well, right. So he did tell me, but just because he misses you and is waiting for you to talk to him."

"Why would I want to talk to him? Did he tell you what he did?"

Neville shrugged, "I'd think you'd be an idiot not to talk to him."

"Of course you'd think that," Draco snarled.

"I mean you've only been obsessed with him since you were eleven…" Draco glared at the plant in front of him, but refused to respond. He was not obsessed with Harry just because he thought about him a lot. "And it's only a matter of time before he gives up on and gets with someone who is not quiet so difficult. Really anyone would wonder why he would bother with you since it obviously comes with so many problems."

"What are you talking about?"

"His best mate still won't talk to him since he found out about you two, your family hates him. Wants him dead actually, and even without politics, like I said you're a difficult person to be around. Notice that now that you're single you don't have a line of people beckoning you for a date daily."

"Who's been asking him out?" Draco demanded and Longbottom laughed whilst he shook his head at him. Draco fumed then turned and left the greenhouse completely ignoring Madame Sprout as she asked him where he was headed. He wouldn't have been able to give her an answer anyway since he wasn't positive where he was headed. Away. Somewhere. He wanted to find Harry, but he couldn't have told her that. Classes were almost out and Draco knew Harry schedule by heart not because they were dating, but because he just had always memorized Harry schedule. That does not make him obsessed though, it was perfectly normal to know the where a bouts of your enemies. He headed in that direction when he found Harry walking slowly down the hallway by himself. He walked determinately up to him, grabbed his arm and shoved him through the closest doorway. Damn his luck if it wasn't the girl's bathroom and no not the abandoned one that harbored Moaning Myrtle. He shoved Harry against the wall preparing to yell when he heard the gasps from behind him. Why did they always go to the bathroom together?

"Perhaps we should beat the crap out of each other elsewhere, yea?" Harry grabbed Malfoy's arm pulled him back out into the hallway, but someone must have already alerted a teacher, because he was by the door waiting for both of them.

"Thanks for detention Malfoy," Harry said after they finally got away to an abandoned classroom on the other side of the castle. Alone with Harry and even angrier after being scolded by a professor, once again Draco shoved Harry up against the wall, without much resistance and started his rant.

"How dare you tell Longbottom about our relationship!" He fumed, "What happened to 'this is our relationship' and 'talking about things with me first' and who are these people that are asking you out? You are mine! And I am not difficult, nor do I come with problems! I'm the normal one you are the one that comes with problems. It's not my fault that 'the Weasel' isn't talking to you and I have no reason to feel guilty about that. It's his fault that his is an ungrateful prick... and why were you standing outside the girl's bathroom?" Listening to Draco, Harry went from stunned to slightly confused, onto really confused before becoming angry himself. It was his fault they were fighting and maybe he shouldn't have told Neville about Draco without his permission, but how was it his fault that he was walking past a bathroom?

"Oh, that's my fault too? Excuse me for walking down a hallway. I had no idea you were going to attack me! And how am I supposed to talk to you when you are refusing to let me and I don't even know how to respond to the rest of that, except yes Ron's a prick." Draco responded by attacking Harry's mouth with his own continually pressing him harder against the wall. After a stunned moment Harry kissed back just as forcefully. He wasn't sure if that meant Draco had forgiven him or if he just needed the physical release, but he figured kissing was a much better sign than hitting no matter what. Draco had never been that aggressive with Harry and he hadn't expected to like it that much. He didn't want it to end but they both needed air and when they stopped to breathe Draco backed up.

"I told you I just needed to think," Draco sighed, "You couldn't just give me that?"

"You haven't even looked at me in over a week." Harry crossed his arms across his chest and Draco sat down in a desk chair then started to spin the ring Harry gave him around his finger. "Besides, I did give you that. I haven't been following you around begging for you to speak to me have I?" Draco didn't respond nor did he look at Harry, then after a few minutes he spoke again.

"What's your plan?"

"What do you mean?"

"You had to have some reason for telling me instead of just obliviating me again, so what is it?" Harry uncrossed his arms and then sat at the chair across from Draco.

"I was going to try and get you to switch to our side, or at the very least to not return to him."

"And what? Let my family die?"

"I wouldn't let that happen."

Draco smirked, "I didn't think you would, so again, what's your plan?"

Harry blushed and looked away, "I guess I really didn't have one. Well, go to Dumbledore and see what he said we should do."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Insane old man."

"Voldemort is afraid of him," Harry pointed out instead of arguing with Draco that Dumbledore was brilliant. Draco didn't deny it, but didn't move to agree to go see him either. "It's the best idea that I have." Draco continued to glare down at his hands and made no attempt to break the silence, so Harry cleared his throat before he attempt to speak again. "What did you mean that I couldn't seem to do anything but hurt you?"

"Honestly, Potter?" Draco huffed and looked at Harry like he was an idiot.

Harry didn't get anymore of an answer than that and didn't want to ask again, so he tried changing the subject slightly. "You're still wearing the ring?"

"Apparently," Draco wasn't willing to make this any easier.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Draco countered, "Do you want it back?"

"No," Harry said softly, "I want you."

Maybe Longbottom had been right and Draco was difficult, though he would never admit that. He had already decided that he wanted to be with Harry so there really wasn't any reason he needed to be fighting with him then. He just felt like he should. Probably because he was still pissed that Harry told Longbottom about their relationship and that he had been manipulating Draco for months. Draco felt guilty the whole time thinking he was one the one manipulating Harry and it was the complete opposite. Draco had every right to be mad at Harry, but it didn't change the fact that he was happier when he was around him. Draco's mother even told him to do what he wanted and she would stand by him no matter what he chose.

Draco fidgeted as he cleared his throat. He had never been very good talking about his feelings and preferred to ignore them as much as possible. "I've thought about it and I think that I still want to be with you."

"Really?" Harry asked skeptically.

"Yes," Draco nodded. "I don't love you, but I…" Draco looked down at his hands and Harry took his right one into his own.

"So, are you willing to talk to Dumbledore?"

Draco took a deep breath, "Yea, I'll talk to him." Harry smiled then leaned forward and kissed Draco softly, but he didn't pull back after they ended the kiss.

"So… do you want to go somewhere?"

"We are somewhere," Draco teased.

"I meant somewhere more… comfortable." Harry pulled Draco towards the door.

"What? You don' t like the idea of being on your knees in an unused classroom?" Draco smirked as Harry blushed.

"I think it's more my knees that don't like the idea."


End file.
